When He Saved Me

t w e n t y - t h r e e

--- Ashers Pov ---

It's been hours since we've been updated on Madison. The others all came to wait with us as soon as I called Noah to tell him what happened.

I needed Noah to be here if not for me but for Jake. I'm trying to stay calm for Jake but my mindset right now is just as all over the place as Jake's is so I'm thankful Noah got here when he did.

Nothing seems to faze Noah he seems to always be in a calm state of mind very much unlike me.

I'm pacing the floor when a nurse approaches us.

"Madison is stable. However, she lost a tremendous amount of blood we had to give her a transfusion. She's sleeping now but you can go in and see her."

We all nod our heads and follow her to Madisons room. There she lays sleeping peacefully as if she didn't just give us all the biggest scare.

I freeze in the doorway before walking out. I can't do this. This is all my fault.

I keep walking until I'm outside and finally stop at a bench. I allow my body to collapse on the bench resting my head in my hands.

I hear footsteps approaching and someone taking a seat next to me. "Are you okay?" I look up to meet Nickys eyes.

She smiles but its not a happy smile her eyes betray her. "Are you okay?" I ask her. She just shakes her head. "I asked you first."

"This is all my fault." "Why do you say that?" I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know I just feel like it is. She was acting weird this morning I must've done something. Somehow I always seem to fuck things up." I let out a defeated laugh.

"Ash this is not your fault. Madison has been through a tremendous amount of trauma and she feels stuck and alone and theres nothing any of us can do until she feels she can trust us. Which I know you don't want to hear this but It's going to take time." She puts her hand on my shoulder and squeezes it. "You can't fix everyone Ash and you can't blame yourself."

"Thanks Nicky." "Anytime."

"Now back to you are you okay?" I ask her.

She takes a deep breath. "I'm okay. I'm scared and shaken up but I'm okay." She tries to smile but tears well up in her eyes.

"No you're not." I say. She laughs. "Well I don't think anyone really is right now." I nod my head in agreement. "I just feel so helpless."

"I know but all we can do is go up there and be strong for Jake. He needs us right now." Nicky says standing and puts her hand out for me to take it.

I take it and she drags me up and we both start walking back to the room.

--- Madisons Pov ---

I open my eyes my vision blurry I blink until my vision becomes normal. I look around the room I'm in.

White walls, bed, metal chairs against the wall, an old tv mounted. I know where I am.

Jake jerks up out of his chair when he sees my eyes open. "Mads you're awake how are you feeling?"

I just stare at him. "Why am I here?" "Madison don't you remember?"

"I know what happened that is why I'm asking why am I here?" My eyes fill with tears blurring my vision once again.

Jake just looks at me his sadness evident in his eyes as he realizes what I'm asking.

"I'm going to get the doctor." Noah stands up squeezing Jakes arm as he passes by. As he walks out I see Asher and Nicky walking in.

Asher catches my eye and I quickly look away.

"Madison..." Jake starts but the doctor comes in interrupting him. It's the same doctor I had last time.

"Madison its good to see you're awake." Dr. Neal says approaching me. "How are you feeling are you in any pain?"

"I'm fine." "Hmm." He takes my wrist in his hand checking my pulse. "Any chills or nausea?" I shake my head. "Alright while we are going to keep you here overnight to monitor your vitals" He leans closer to Asher and speaks quietly "Because this was an attempted suicide I had to page psych a psychiatrist will be by talk to your sister in a little bit and will be able to better help you with deciding what your next steps are from here."

I  roll over to face the wall. I don't want to see all the faces that I know I let down. I don't want to see their pity either.

"Thank you Dr. Neal." I hear Jake say and then I hear the door open and close and someone walk out. Not even a few minutes later the door opens and closes again and someone walks in.

"Hello everyone. I'm Dr. Avery." A woman's cheery voice says. "I'm going to ask all friends and family to leave the room for a little bit while I talk to Madison alone." I hear chairs scraping and footsteps as they all make their way out and the door closes behind them.

I hear Dr. Avery pull a chair closer to my bed. "Hi Madison. How are you?" I don't say anything. I don't know how to answer that question.

"I understand that all of this might seem overwhelming and I know you have been through quite a lot. I looked through your file. I am just here to help Madison but I can't help you if you don't talk to me." She says.

I take a deep breath and turn to face her. Tears streaming down my face. "Madison I understand you recently had a miscarriage do you want to tell me about that?" I shake my head tears coming faster.

"Madison." 

I take a deep breath. "I'm sorry." 

"You have nothing to apologize for you have been through several traumatic events it's only natural that you feel closed off." I nod my head.

"Can you tell me about what lead up to making you feel like you wanted to end your life?"

I hesitate. "Its okay take your time." I nod my head and take deep breaths trying to calm myself down. "I uh I don't really know. I just kind of feel useless." my voice shakes. "I feel like all ever do is let people down." Dr. Avery nods. "Has someone told you this or said something to make you feel this way." I slowly nod my head. "Do you want to talk about that?" I shake my head.

"Okay thats okay. I have to ask you a couple more questions and then i'll get out of your hair." She says writing something down on her clipboard. "Would you feel safe going home?" I nod my head. "I need you to answer the questions verbally sweetheart." "Yes" I say quietly. "

"Do you feel if you went home you would attempt suicide again or attempt to harm yourself in anyway?" "No" I force myself to answer out loud.

"Okay that's all then sweetheart. I'm gonna step outside and talk to your brother and then we'll come inside and all talk together."

I nod my head and she leaves.

--- Jakes Pov ---

Dr. Avery comes out shutting the door behind her and approaches me.

"How is she?"

"She's okay. I do want to discuss some things with you. I want you to understand how sensitive this situation is and I want to make sure you fully understand that Madison attempted suicide." I nod my head not trusting my voice.

"Because it was attempted suicide we have to talk about possibly getting her committed. However I don't believe that would be the best option for her. Madison has been through an incredible amount of trauma and a non familiar environment is going to just put her under more stress."

"I agree I strongly feel like my sister would do better under my care and I'm sure my friends would be more than happy to help out." I let a breath of relief I was afraid they would commit her.

"Well I am glad to hear that. However you have to understand this is not going to be an easy task. Madison will have to be placed under a 24/7 watch. I'm going to prescribe some antidepressants for her to take home. I expect you to ensure she takes them. I also am going to have to enforce mandatory counseling. She will need to find a therapist within 2-3 weeks or she will have to be committed."

"I understand ma'am thank you."