Sonic High School by DarkDoomFireMaster

Chapter 22: The Saddest Day Ever

"We are gathered here today to put Sonic into the ground," said the funeral man. "Sonic died. The other day a security camera in the woods saw Sonic run off a cliff and he fell all the way down and hit the ground at the bottom next to the river. His body got so messed up, he is dead for sure."

Everyone was at the funeral place which they decided to put in the garden of the school, so they could berry Sonic at High School which is where he spent most of his time as a teen. All of Sonic's friends who were there were attending his funeral. Tails was right and front and was crying, and next to him was Amy who was crying the most and she was hugging Sonic's Mom with her face in her boobs who was crying too but not so loud, like a honking horn on a bike that she was not squeezing too hard. Everyone was so sad because Sonic is now dead. There was also Rouge and Cream who was wearing a big ring with a really big shiny white jew in it and they were also crying because they are women, and they cannot control their emotoins. Knuckles and Knuckles Jr were there and being held and crying in a baby way, and there was Silver who was crying a little and even Espio, too, was crying a little bit at the funeral where they all were. Ms. Lesson was there and she was crying which made her look uglier, and the Lunch Lady was there too and even though she was very big and strong she cried too because Sonic is dead. Sonic's Chinese doctor was there too, also. He did not cry because his eyes were too small to let them tears out. Charmy and Vector were not at Sonic's Funeral because they were dead now. Blaze the Cat was not there because no one liked her and no one invited her.

Amy looked at Rouge and said to Rouge, "Rouge, where is Shadow? He said he was going to come to Sonic's Funeral. He is not here." Amy sounded weird and sad and she did not have any teeth so all of her words came out so idiotly, it was like she was a ghost who could not speak a laungage that humans could understand. She usually did not talk now that she did not teeth because Sonic punched them out of her mouth and into space before he killed himself.

"I do not know, is it that he could be late that he's not here?" said Rouge back to Amy, in a sad way. They were right. Shadow was not there. Shadow was dark but even he was not dark enough to not go to Sonic's Funreal, so why was it that he was not.

"Tails," said Amy now to Tails instead of Rouge, who was on the other side of her, more towards the middle of it, "Where is Shadow? Shadow is not here." Tails looked really sad and crying some, and everyone thought he is gonna kill himself in a few days because he is so sad and his best friend is now his dead friend.

"I do not know, and it is pissing me off. I should send a robot to kill him," said Tails, sounding mad and sad.

Amy made a sad and disappointing face and said, "High School Drama is so crazy."

Then the funeral man went back to the front like a standing race horse going to the front and started talking again. "Hello family and friends and teenagers, we are now going to talk about why we love Sonic so much and we miss him. Everyone please come up and say a nice thing about Sonic so we can remember him before we put him down."

Tails got up first and went to the spot where he was and said, "Sonic was my best friend. He was the coolest and fastest, and he always knew what to do when we were bored and wanted to have fun. We lived in different houses, but it is like we did not, because we saw each other on the bus. I miss Sonic!" Tails started to cry more and everyone thought that was sad and Tails went back. Then Amy and Sonic's Mom both did not go because they were both crying too much and Amy was embarssed of her no teeth at all.

Then got up Rouge, who was holding Knuckles and Knuckles Jr like a sexy pelican carrying two watermelons in its mouth. "I am going to miss Sonic so much, said Rouge. He was such a cool and nice guy, with the best morals, and everyone knew his penis was bigger than everyone else's." Rouge was so sex-thinking, but it was O.K. because it is all about saying good things about the dead person at a funeral, and everyone nodded anyway because it was.

Knuckles said, "I am a baby now but I have always been Sonic's friend and I miss him and want to thank care of him for taking care of me as a baby and helping me with my school work as a baby now."

And then Knuckles Jr said, "I only knew Sonic for a few weeks but he is the coolest guy I have ever known. He was so fast, and smart, and good at everything. I wish he didn't kill himself."

Then Espio went and said some more sad things, and so did Cream and Silver and the rest of everyone like a Konga Line of being sad. The Lunch Lady said that she will always miss Sonic and that he was a nice boy and that she wanted to take him and his friends to see Asia, and Sonic's Doctor said that it might not be so bad that Sonic died because now his ball disease has been nutralized. By the time that everyone was done saying things about Sonic, they were all so tired from crying and hungry that they needed to stop and have some food. They had caramel because Sonic really liked it after that time he had it on vacetion and they had soda because it always made them smile. Soda makes bubbles, and it is cool, because how do they do it.

But still even after they did all this, Shadow was not here, and some people thought that was rude and Tails was about ready to find him and cut his homo throat. "Shadow is still not here," said Tails just out loud to everyone and not really anyone. "What the heck."

"Okay," said the funeral man. "Stop eating, we are gonna put Sonic into the ground forever." Everyone started to yelp and cry because that meant Sonic would never come back because you would get so tired digging him up that you would quit even if he was alive. Everyone went back to the sitting zone and sat in chairs and the funeral man and his dead person workers picked up the koffin like it was only a cotton candy suitcase and lifted it over the big hole in the ground they made for Sonbic. "Okay, here he goes," said the funeral man, and they dropped the koffin into the hole and it made a loud sound.

"No wait!" said a voice from the back, and, would you guess it, it was Shadow, who was now here, at the funeral, finally here after it was almost done, and then he said, "I have to say something about my friend before you cover him with the dirt!" Shadow walked up to the front and Tails reached out punched him right in the balls as he was walking by and it put Shadow's balls out of business.

"Don't be late! Why are you late! That is so mean to Sonic and everyone!" said Tails, screamingly. Shadow was going backwards in pain because his balls felt like two apples getting eaten by birds.

"Ow, I'm sorry! Listen, I have a reason, just listen!" said Shadow back in pain to Tails. Everyone pretty much agreed with Tails on punching Shadow to show how to respect, but Silver said that he should listen to people before doing something and the Lunch Lady said that sometimes you should just be nice instead of being mean and people will learn the lesson anyway. So even though Tails is the smartest sometimes he gets a little crazy and other people can teach him things that he did not know, but he is still the smartest.

Shadow finished being in super ball pain and went to the speaking area and said, "Listen everyone, Sonic, who died, has always been my friend. I may be a dark guy and I may disargee with Sonic sometimes but, he is always my friend and I miss him so much even though it has only been a few days since he jumped off the big cliff and messed up his body to death. But I have something I think everyone will all like." Shadow took out a bag that looked glowing from it. "I spent my wole life collecting the Ultra Chaos Emeralds, and these are them. What they do is grant you one wish when you use them, and then you have to go hide them before you die and after a hundred years someone else can find them and use them. Well it is time that they are used once again!"

Shadow held the bag of them up in the air and said, "Ultra Chaos Emeralds! I call up the gods and use you to bring the powers down and give them to me, to grant my wish! I wish..." and he did a dramatic stop and everyone looked shocked and amazed and surprised at what he was gonna wish for. What would Shadow wish for? Is it gonna be for a lot of money?

Shadow raised his face up, "I wish to bring Sonic back to healthy life!" The bag glowed really hard, and everyone was making a big deal and talking and going around. The funeral man and his people got up Sonic's koffin out of the hole and put it back in front of everyone. The funeral man used his tool to open the koffin and there was Sonic. He talked to him, shook him, and checked for a hard beat, but, no, fairy tales are not real and Sonic was dead.