Deliver for the death eaters

Chapter 4

Dudley had somehow managed to do the impossible and keep his cousin from plotting more pranks so soon after sending God-only-knows-how-many toys to wherever the poor sod who was going to receive them lived by taking Harry along with him and Piers to the cinema, the pool and a small music festival some of the other kids in the area were holding. So far, it seemed to be working. The evil glint in Harry's eyes had not returned yet, which meant that Dudley was actually keeping his slightly mental cousin entertained.

The issue was, while Harry was easy to deal with, Hermione Granger was not. It had come to the point where the moment the phone rang, Dudley and Harry actually played Rock-Paper-Scissors to see who would be the sucker to potentially lose their hearing for a minute or two as Hermione berated whoever it was at the other end of the line. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon had been home for one whole and that whole day both Harry and Dudley prayed that the phone would not ring.

Well, it did once. But it wasn't Hermione.

Aunt Petunia had picked the phone up with a frown. She was not expecting a phone call. "Hello, Dursley residence? Petunia speaking."

"Erm ... Hello, Mrs. Dursley. May we speak to Harry please?"

Petunia had paled to the colour of snow in five seconds flat. That voice belonged to one of the red headed freaks who had invaded her home a year ago! She pursed her lips. "One moment." She put the phone away from her ear. "HARRY, PHONE, NOW!"

"Coming, Aunt Petunia!" the boy had rocketed down the stairs in about five seconds flat, which was a record even for his doing.

"Who is it, petal?" Uncle Vernon had asked from the living room, not looking up from his newspaper.

"One of the boy's freaky friends," his wife had answered dismissively.

Dudley had sighed with relief when his father hadn't exploded in rage and simply grunted, not looking up from the sports section in the paper.

"Hello?" Harry had said tentatively into the phone.

"Hey, Harry!" he heard Ginny and Ron's voices chorus back. At least they were not shouting into the phone, like last time.

"Mate, are you still alive? Hermione has been ringing the phone for days, asking when we're coming to get ya because she's apparently worried you've ended up under a patio," Ron added quickly. "She said something about you pranking Malfoy – is it true?"

"Errrr yes? How else was I supposed to keep myself busy?" Harry replied as though it should have been the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh, I don't know – read a book? We sent you some for your birthday as well as some of Fred and George's products because Hermione warned us you were in one of your moods," Ginny exploded. "Have you gone completely barking mad?! The Malfoys are going to make your life a living hell the moment they get their hands on you!"

"First of all, Gin, that ship has sailed concerning my sanity, and Draco enjoys pestering me on a daily basis at school anyway so not much will change there," Harry chuckled.

"By the way, Fred and George will likely want to have a word with you about not including them in your schemes, mate," Ron informed, clearly grinning on the other end of the line. "They're kind of put out you didn't write to them for ideas."

"Well, their ideas would be magical and I specifically want Muggle ... I mean, normal shit to send to Draco and his mother. They have too much ... stuff around them anyway," Harry was suddenly very careful about saying the M-word as he saw Aunt Petunia give him a cold, pointed look but she didn't scold him like she normally did.

"Hermione was right to be worried," Ginny sighed. "The darkness has been set free once more."

"Yeah well, the Death Munchers should be glad I don't know where they are or they'd be my next targets," Harry cackled.