Deliver for the death eaters

Chapter 7

It was almost a source of abject disappointment for the Boy-Who-Had-Expected-To-Be-Kidnapped-and-Tortured-By-Now that not only had Lord Voldemort not sent him another stupid song as an alarm clock through their connection, but there had been no Death Eater attacks or assassination attempts once again! It was almost as though the Dark wizards were going to anger management or something! There hadn't even been a trace of werewolf poop in the garden of the Burrow!

No dead Muggles either or Muggles that just happened to disappear into the Wiltshire landscape with no trace left of them.

The only way Harry knew that Old Snakeface and his Death Munchers were annoyed with him was the stabs of pain that his scar now and again fired off. Most people would have been grateful to escape with their life each time, but the Boy-Who-Saw-Death-As-A-Fun-Challenge grew more and more agitated at the lack of reaction for his enemies.

Plus, Nagini had apparently not seen the new python as a threat but instead had teamed up with her! Harry had seen it once through a vision during the night; he had laughed manically during the night as he watched Nagini and the ball python chase down Wormtail from one end of Malfoy Manor to the other. Harry was very tempted to make some Team Nagini and Ball-Python T-shirts but decided to hold off on that idea until he learned what name Captain Red-Eyes had decided to give the new snake.

So, the first thought that entered the mind of the son of Prongs when he woke up the morning after sending some 'presents' that he thought would have at least made Fenrir Greyback attempt to track his suicidal butt, was this: how can I make these people try to kill me sooner rather than later?

Ron was still snoozing – well, snoring – when Harry tiptoed out of the room and decided to go to the bathroom and take a shower so he could do some plotting in peace before the Menace to His Plans that was his sister-from-a-different-family woke up and decided to put him on a metaphorical leash again. He was tempted to send dog-training DVDs and videos since it would mean forcing the Malfoys to buy a television but Harry knew that if dog grooming kits did not make Fenrir homicidal enough, the DVDs wouldn't either.

Plus, Fenrir, Narcissa and Draco were very slowly starting to bore Harry – after all, there were at least ten different members of Voldemort's Inner Circle who could be amazing targets! Fenrir, Narcissa and Draco would only be getting one more round of presents, Harry decided. He would then focus on three new targets, since they were likely to give him some more entertainment!

Maybe the goblins could help? Harry knew that Gringotts' goblins didn't like wizards all too much, despite managing their monetary affairs. The goblin rebellions were enough to say that for certain! Who knows, maybe the goblins also had a few ideas to spare?

"OH NO, HE'S GONE! Someone track down Harry this moment. Ginny, check your dad's shed right now! This is not funny, Fred! He may actually finally be kidnapped – George, go and put the radio on and keep your ear open for any death announcements."

Harry sighed. Three minutes – he had a peaceful shower for three minutes before Hermione the Prank Alarm had started shouting again.

"Hermione, cool it! I hear the shower!" he heard Ron shout back, clearly not very happy at the rude awakening he likely got. "You're not going to be able to stop him until he's satisfied or he has found someone more fun to prank – you know this! Just let the idiot piss off his Dark Lords and werewolves; so far, no one has gotten hurt."

"Except perhaps You-Know-Who's feelings," Harry heard George snicker as he walked by the bathroom door. "Morning, Harry!"

"Morning, George!" Harry called back.

"Yep! He's still here and still alive!" George announced. "I don't need to switch the radio on. Yippee!"

"I am going to keep an eye on the phones in Dad's shed anyway," Ginny stated as she walked by. "I have a funny feeling the phones might start ringing soon."