Childhood crush (Bill Kaulitz)

"I don't want to keep playing this game with you maria.. "

"Well.. Let's hope bill does.. Even though I'm not sure, 5 years waiting.. "

-YOUR NOT HELPING.

"CMON NOW CUT ME SOME SLACK I'M THE ONE WHO HAS TO BREAK IT TO YOU AND FYI TOM WAS FINE THAT NIGHT HE WAS JUST A BIT TIPSY HE LIED BECAUSE HE KNOWS YOULL YELL AT HIM"

-I DON'T GIVE TWO FLYING FU-.. Okay,

I take a deep breath taking everything in.

-so. YOUR SAYING, that me and bill just kissed. WHY IN FUCK WAS I IN HIS BED THEN?
I ask, obviously panicking.

"Well after that, we decided to leave, but you and bill didn't wanna leave eachother, it was hilarious, anyway, after a bit of convincing, we let you go with bill and tom, under the condition, that tom would check on you two every 15 mins, and that's how we know nothing more happened, tom told us that you two were watching TV one time, the other time you were playing Monopoly with made up rules and you two went to bed pretty early, and yeah thats it."

Even though that calmed my nerves a bit I still was panicking about the kiss.

-but what am I gonna do? DOES THE PUBLIC KNOW. OH MY GOD EVERYONE IS GOING TO FLIP OUT-

I hadn't even noticed that Sasha was rubbing my shoulders trying to calm me down.

"Relax, Maria, take a breath, everything is fine"

-HOW IN FLIPPING FUCK IS EVERYTHING FINE-

"you should sit down, we're going to find out what to do okay?"

-Fine.

I sat down on the living room couch, sighing.

-what am I gonna do? I don't know how I'll even talk to him, I can't look at him, i-

"Zip it. Okay so, we will wait a like 4 days, and if he doesn't make a move, hunny, your gonna have to make a move."

-BRO I JUST KNOW DAMN WELL IF HE STARTS TALKING TO ME IN PRIVATE I WILL RUN AWAY-

"but your not gonna do that. Okay?"

-... No promises.

Sasha sighed and stood up.

"Cmon you've liked him since we were twelve, don't you want something to happen?"

I stayed silent.

"Okay, well today we have an interview in a town half an hour away, but its at 6pm so you have time, and uhh.. Wake up Damian it's almost 12 pm and I'll ttyl? "

(Oh and sorry I forgot to mention Damian is only at Maria's house for a month since his house is getting renovated, for the storys sake)

I nod and get up to walk her out.

When Sasha leaves I just sit down and I think, "what the hell is going to be the outcome of this.."

(Time skip 2 days later)

These days I've been distracted, and everyone has seemed to have noticed. I've been zoning out more, my answers are slow, stuff like that.

But yesterday, I was talking to the boys (oml not the boiz🥶,I mean tom,georg,gus and bill) , and bill tried to pull me to talk privately, but I chickened out and I feel like I lost my chance , since he seemed pretty nervous to talk to me.

Today was a rainy and stormy day so we didn't plan anything public. I have been writing emails and working on new albums all day so I decided to give myself a break.