Tomioka Giyuu {Sanegiyuu}

Ch.4

"Nee-san? Ne-" I felt something grab and pull me into a tight hug. It was warm and comforting, I haven't been hugged since Sabito's death. I had forgotten what it felt like, it's so warm.

Tomioka Pov
My eyes slowly opened to see white hair? The hug got tighter and I weakly hugged back. "Tomioka?" That voice sounded familiar, I was still half asleep so I couldn't figure who's voice it was. I slowly pulled away from the hug to see Shinazugawa?

"Shinazugawa? What-" "WHAT THE HELL WHERE YOU THINKING!?" Then the memories came flooding back, did he save me? I wanted to say something but was pulled into another tight hug.

I felt his warm tears trickle down my neck, he buried his head in my shoulder. "Shinazugawa? A-are you okay?" "Just- just shut up" was all I heard from Shinazugawa before hugging him back.

After a few minutes had passed Shinazugawa got up and said he was going to get some food for me. I wasn't really hungry, but it was nice to have someone caring for you. Was Shinazugawa always this caring?

I got up and opened the door, I saw Shinazugawa walking towards me with some ohagi. "Oh hi, Shinazugawa" "do you want to eat at the table?" I hesitated on answering. "Oh uh sure?" Shinazugawa turned away and walked towards a table.

I followed behind him, dreading what he would say next. Would he tell the other's? Did he tell Oyakata-sama? Would I get kicked out of the corps? What would Kanroji think? Or Kocho-

"Tomioka? You okay, you look distracted." I was drawn out of my thoughts and realized that we were at Shinazugawas table. "Oh, yes I'm fine" I was not fine. I was really, really worried for what Shinazugawa was gonna say next.

I sat down in one of the chairs and looked at Shinazugawa, who was getting a chair for him. "Shinazugawa?" "Huh?" I stayed quiet and looked at the ground, I didn't want to talk about what happened.

But I don't think I have much of a choice, can I just run out? No, that would be to weird and he might run after me. "I'm- I'm gonna go back to my estate if that's okay" I said while getting up, I was really hoping Shinazugawa wouldn't say anything.

"Tomioka." A stern voice said, I looked at Shinazugawa who's hands where in tight fists. I stayed quiet not wanting to accidentally say something that could point towards my self-harm.

"Don't do anything stupid, you got that." I just nodded and quickly ran out, I was glad that was all he said. I ran as far I could, I didn't know where I was running to I just wanted to get away.

I fell to the ground from exhaustion, I had only been running for about 7 minutes how was I already drained of my energy? Am I getting weaker cause I can't take care of myself?

Cause I haven't been eating enough? Not sleeping enough? Not drinking enough? Are people gonna die cause of my irresponsibility to care for myself? I don't want that at all, was I selfish for wanting to die?

Before even defeating Muzan? Dying a useless death, not while fighting a demon like Rengoku. Just a pointless death for selfish reasons, was that really how I wanted to die? No, I can't die without being of help to anyone not before defeating Muzan.

I calmed my breathing and slowly sat up, I looked around and realized I was completely lost. I hadn't ran for long but I was fast, I stood up and tried to find my estate. It took awhile but once I finally reached my estate I sat down on the cold floor.

I wanted to change, to get better but that seemed so impossible. I was weak, I couldn't change I tried to stop my cuttings. I of course failed to, I can't do anything by myself. I can't save anyone, how was I ever useful?

I've only killed 2 lower moons, and one of them Tanjiro did all of the work, I only beheaded it. Tanjiro killed the hand demon, the one I was no match for. Of course I could kill the hand demon now, but if it was when I was Tanjiros age I would have lost.

Tanjiro is almost at hashira level, with a bit more training he could be a hashira. A stronger one, a more socially fun one. Everyone would enjoy his company, I envy Tanjiro. Even with everything that happened to him he still smiles. I, who was so mentally and physically weak can't even handle the death of two people?

I'm to dramatic, what's wrong with me? I'm the water pillar, the strongest out of all the demon slayers and yet I'm still to weak. I should really just...

Shinazugawa Pov
Tomioka rushed out of my estate, I worry for him. Worry? Of course I worry for him! He's my comrade! Even with his stupid 'Im to good for you all' act.

Tch, should I follow him? Just make sure he's safe? No, he'll be fine he's strong but what if he tries to- tch whatever I'll just make sure he gets to his estate!

I ran out of my estate to follow Tomioka but I couldn't find him, I guess he just couldn't wait to get away from me. I went back inside my estate and grabbed a pen and paper, I was gonna tell Oyakata-sama what had happened.

But what if Tomioka gets removed from the corps?
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