In This World (Harry Styles)

31

(DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. It's important to remember this is all totally fabricated, embellished, and exaggerated for entertainment purposes.)

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Don't you know I'm still standin' better than I ever did?

Lookin' like a true survivor, feelin' like a little kid

And I'm still standin' after all this time

Pickin' up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm Still Standing – Elton John

We were experiencing what some might've called Indian Summer. Unseasonably warm weather in the dead of autumn, which I wasn't complaining about, since Gray and I had used it as an excuse to travel more often. More day trips exploring different prefectures and using all the inspiration we gathered to write music, some for projects we had planned together beyond my upcoming record. The latter was finally nearing an end, for the conceptual phase anyway. Now I would move on to recording everything and plan a trip to LA to work in person with my core team when the time was right.

After the proposal, I'd called and broke the news to mum, and from there she told everyone in our inner circle and I got a million calls. I fielded them the rest of the day back at the Sandankyo hotel, while Gray called his family and did the same. That night we made love like rabbits, and though I attempted, I wasn't able to top like I'd wanted. But it didn't matter. I planned to make it a special occasion for him whenever it happened, and show him in every other way my mind could concoct how deeply he was cared for. Just as he'd done with me. Even the detailing in the ring spoke of the immense love and care with which he'd planned the design, hoping to surprise to me. I was on cloud fucking nine as he lay asleep in my arms at the close of the day. And by morning when I awoke and stepped onto the balcony for a bit of fresh air, I continued to study the ring, finding a secret message inscribed along the inside of the band. It simply read: Ad Infinitum. Which was Latin for: Again and again in the same way. Forever. To infinity.

I ached for him now, playing with the ring along my finger, spinning it 'round and 'round as it was a bit loose. Didn't matter. I planned on growing old and bald and plenty fat with him someday. That's just the way it ought to be. He was currently in Tokyo helping to renovate Kiko's orphanage as promised, and it was truly the first time we'd been apart since we met. I'd already spent the night before without him, but something about me having the ring fixed firmly on my finger made a brief separation somewhat tolerable. It was bound to happen sooner or later, and I was glad it didn't occur until after we were officially engaged. Now we planned to talk wedding dates and venues whenever he returned, and from there decide on where we ultimately wanted to live when it was all said and done. Thankfully he was planning to drive back in a couple of days after the floors in a few rooms were completed to his satisfaction, and I'd just have to be patient until then.

I'd been going back and forth to Tokyo with him for a bit, jetting over whenever we couldn't make the drive. That is...until I injured my hand trying to pry up one of the floorboards, and was fired by him on the spot because he didn't want to see me come to any more harm. It was embarrassing for me, but I understood his frustration, and I was as good as useless anyway since I'd gashed open my dominant hand. I was told to stay home and pamper myself and work on my music and keep the house, and for the first time ever, I felt like somebody's number one. A kept woman. It was as glorious as I'd imagined it would be, and then some. And I'm being perfectly honest here when I say, our first full day apart was pretty rough on us both, so we'd fallen asleep on the phone together that night, and when I'd woke in the morning he was still there.