Snowflakes

A third wheel project

May 7th Tue.
(Forgot the actual date)

He's my best friend?
A 'close friend' .
Every morning, he's annoying, idiotically cool. Pathetically amazing.

You always shared your secrets.
I do, too. What happened? You left me alone, 'close friend'.

It was October, during the seating arrangements, luckily? You were placed right beside me. Creep. You keep on joking around. I can't study and you were able to. When I look at the White board, your irritating black head was covering my view. I suddenly took a peek of your neck, so white, camouflaged with the White paint on the wall. Some guy poked me and started to laugh at me. I turned red.
I looked back, you were facing me, I accidentally threw a paper at you. I'm sorry. It was fun.

The paper was a dead zone.
I wrote my feelings for you.

When I threw the paper at you, you started to ask while opening the paper, "Kai, what's written in here? Ahahah xD". "No! Stupid! Retard! It's crumpled! Can't you see?! Don't open a paper that was once open and became a trash! *whispers* my feelings are a trash." "Waddya say?" "I said,'give it back!'" You were staring, and I said sorry.

The next stupid moment came when we shared our lunch in the playground. We used to talk about who our crushes are from the past and about now. I said that there was someone else I liked from the past and I do now too. You told me that you had crushes that became your 'whatever'. But they would leave you after using the fuel you had inside you. You liked a guy once but only once. You were in a boy school. So yeah. You also said that there was someone else now. I kept quiet for a moment and asked who?"
You said that it was that smart girl.

At that point, I was crushed. You kept coming to me for an advice on how you'll be able to get her. I think you never needed any. With that crappy face, you might get her in no time. Just don't get hurt. If only I was the one and I would definitely take care of you. Obviously, no way. I was like a sister to you and you were like a brother to me.

During November, you said that you confessed. You told me that she was happy but she didn't accept it. You cried, you ran away. I suddenly knew that you actually loved her from afar.
I was happy for you that time, but at least don't cry like that. She ran to look for you, when she came back, she was crying. She shouted to everyone that if you don't care for her, she wouldn't care for you either. That was the stupidest thing that I have ever heard from that girl that you liked. And then I knew that I have no rights to say that because you wouldn't love that much for someone, you wouldn't cry your eyes for someone like that. There was something inside her that you saw that we haven't.

It was her birthday. There was a sleepover party. I met the guy I liked. To be honest, he was way better than you as I expected but my love for you as a friend is way worse than the guy I liked. You messaged me about her, how was she and all. She cried that time when we confessed our secrets. There was this other girl who liked you and the other girl who wanted to kiss you during elementary. While on the other hand, the one I liked was my 'close friend#2'. He was funny, sarcastic, sporty, and a smarty pants. He shared about he's past and about he's favourite 'youtuber'.
(Anyway, I shall fast forward.)

After her birthday, I saw you sitting beside her, laughing. I said hi and waved my hand, both of you waved back.

There's this guy who poked me, sitting on the corner. I bugged him. And asked," was it for the best?" He said,"yes." He likes the girl that has a crush on the person I love. Those twists of love. I found it funny but it was worth awhile to experience love and pain.

By the end of December, we had a high school party. You were alone, waiting for her. You left because you thought that she wasn't coming. It was 7 in the evening, she was amazing. Unlucky for you, you had to go home.

When I came back to the classroom, I cried, I cried for you. So much. Before the party started, you asked if you could borrow my phone, and I said yes. After an hour, you were gone, my phone was there, playing the music you were listening to. I checked the photos, it was full of stupid faces. I cried so much because you left.

It was January, you said you confessed again, and you were rejected again.

February came, you gave her chocolates and kissed her on the head. I found it kinda sweet. You were able to do that to someone you love. I envied you. Why were able to touch the person you love and I can't?

March came, we had a field trip. You weren't allowed. Instead, I came with the guy who poked me. It was March 5 that time, it was cf#2's birthday.

During April, it was my birthday. I found someone else who could substitute you for my feelings. I was traumatised because we weren't close anymore. She accepted you and you faded away from me.

During May, we had groupings. I was grouped with you and with the girl you love. I was silent, you kept joking as always. She was happy. I was sitting between the both of you from behind. Two outstanding people in front of me, was I needed here? I was irritated because I wasn't able to handle it.

June came, things were normal.
You stopped coming to school when she stopped coming, too.

I met another person. And she also likes you. Wow. Really? She wrote a letter for you, she searched the entire school for you. You weren't here anymore. I became acquainted with her and suddenly, how unexpected, she became a friend. We had some several common interests and it was fun being with her.

School ended and I called you.
You were playing.

*Stonegreen: OY! Aren't you coming to school?
*Mindfreak: Nah. She's not even at school. I'll come if she's there.
*Stonegreen: Stupid. She's not the only one at school, you know.
*Mindfreak:I know. But what's the point going there if she's not there. I love her. What to do.
*Stonegreen: Fine whatever. Just don't cry and creep out. Looks like this is gonna be the end for us.
*Mindfreak: why?
*Stonegreen: I mean, you have her now. What's the point of our friendship?
*Mindfreak: Hey, we may not be able to talk that much in the future but I'll always be your friend. I may have her but no one can replace you as my friend. I can't lose a friend. Please, don't end what we have.
*Stonegreen: Oh really? I wish I could say the same thing to you.
*Mindfreak: You should. We are friends, aren't we?
*Stonegreen: Yeah, we are but I can't handle it.
*Mindfreak: Why?
*Stonegreen: because I like you.
*Mindfreak: Oh. I'm sorry. What did you like about me?
*Stonegreen: Everything.
*Mindfreak: I'm sorry but I won't be able to accept your feelings, you're like a sister to me, to be honest.
*Stonegreen: Yep, you're also like a sister to me.
*Mindfreak: Ahahhaha. Funny. But don't worry, we are still friends no matter what.
*Stonegreen: Thanks. Promise me, you won't love anyone else but her.
*Mindfreak: I promise. With all my heart.
*Stonegreen: Make sure, or else I'll break your bones. Bye.
*Mindfreak: Please, don't. We are still friends! Bye.
*Stonegreen:Bye.
*Stonegreen and Mindfreak: Goodbye

And that's all. We ended up like that. It was better than ever.