Snowflakes

Day 7

Walking. . . . . Walking-early-dead-eyes-DON'T know why. When I got home yesterday, I went to bed and closed my eyes. I never bothered changing clothes and I treated my bag as a pillow that I like hugging when I sleep. Head down, looking at the drawing that I'm already finished with. Now for the last test, is to show him how is it? would he like it? would he help me? would he be happy? I have the these pile of questions that I would like to be answered or not.

I came earlier than I thought. Earlier than him. I didn't bring any lunch today because I'll be doing some shopping later and so I thought of tagging him along with me.

"How long dies it take for him to come here?"

It's been 5 minutes. He's still not here. Maybe he forgot? No. he doesn't forget things.

No one is here, and since there's a security on the side, I'll just leave my bag here. Talking to myself in my head is not what i planned to do today. I went to the refreshments to buy some drinks. Canada Dry. I don't know if it's common with other people but it has the best taste for me. it tasted like a medicine that is alcoholic and addicting but not actually alcoholic; just like coke but it has more of a unique taste. I also bought marshmallows? yes, i really like soft things. It also reminded me of camping. When I was 6 or 7 years old, we would camp on mountains? maybe? I was younger back then. Grasshoppers everywhere, i find them irritating because, they creep me out. I can't sleep at all. Then I got used to them. Nowadays, we do camping but I can't sleep without those tiny noises outside. When I got back, he wasn't here yet. My bag was in the middle of the bench. I think i left it on the corner but I don't know. The security guard wasn't there, to. No one was here in the park. Its Sunday, everyone is at work. school starts tomorrow. The worst thing that could ever happen to me is my expectations of being a fake person all over again.

It's been 15 minutes. not yet here.

Can't think of anything right now. All I could do is wait for him to come.

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

I have nothing to do. I'm starting to think that this is pathetic. That maybe, it would have been better if I was late.

It's already 12 in the afternoon and he is still not here. How boring. He was never this late. So rare for a guy like him to be serious on the other day and now he is not.

My head is burning.
I closed my eyes for awhile and then I realised, I was already asleep. I started to dream about this place. I was just sitting down. It was a blue greyish day. Nothing seemed to be colourful. My eyes were wide open. Blinking after 10, 20 seconds. A guy came near me. It was him, crying again. He was holding a paper. A paper covered by some blood. To think that this is the weirdest dream, I still continued and never bothered to open my eyes. I was curious. What is in the paper that he was holding on tightly, what was the reason why he's crying. I was trying to open my mouth but it seems that I can't control my dreams. He dropped the letter as I predicted, as I wanted him to.

Dreams are expectations.

He kneeled down while his hair was covering his face. He was wearing a white shirt, a ripped vest, black pants with no shoes. I was wearing a white dress with bloody hands and my feet were hidden under the cold snow. Now this, this is a shitty dream. Everything was covered with snow, and people were frozen. Trees with no leaves and only shows dead branches. A sea with no water, a day with no sun, a place with no life but only the both of us. The clouds were moving faster and it turns darker and darker. The paper rolled 3 times. It was half way through. It is placed between me and him. I can't move body. I can only move eyes. I looked down on my stomach, the sharp edge of a knife is showing. My blood is showing. I can't breath, I can't do anything but to look at him. I looked at the clouds again and it was moving faster. It completely turned dark and the snow was glowing. Trees changed into pillars and people turned into statues with black coats and the paper rolled 3 times towards me and it said,