Reality Check - A Huntric/Goldric Based Fic

Hate Yourself (CHP 34)

And how long will it take before you start to hate yourself, and go straight to the arm of someone else?

-TV Girl

Edric's head laid carefully against his boyfriend's chest, a crystal ball set in front of them delicately. Hunter had a hand woven through his boyfriend's quickly growing green locks, scratching his scalp softly. Edric was completely content with being so intimate with him, especially after everything that had happened.

They knew everything about each other when it truly matters, or at least each boy thought.

Hunter was a Grimwalker, unbeknownst to Edric.

Edric wore a small stone around his neck that aided the way he look, of which Hunter had zero clue.

One thing they had in common was the simple idea that the other would never find out.

Hunter parted Edric's hair at the base of his forehead, before leaning forward to softly kiss his head. Ed chuckled slightly, nuzzling his head against his chest, a deep breath being taken on Hunter's part. Edric felt his head rise along his chest, just to fall again. He sat up, looking at his boyfriend.

They both felt like the luckiest guy in the world to be in their spot. Edric smiled sweetly, a gesture returned almost immediately by the boy under him. They stayed like that for just a moment, Hunter melting in the honey-golden gaze of Ed and Ed relishing the softened eyes of Hunter, a look reserved just for him.

It didn't take much longer for Ed to lean in for a kiss, and it took significantly less time for Hunter to lean in to give that to him. Their lips met somewhere in the middle, softly pressed against each other.

Edric's hand went to cup the ruggedly scarred cheek, his thumb gently outlining the prominently raised scar that it met there. Hunter's own hands wrapped around his shoulders, leaning against the kiss.

Ed sat up, bringing Hunter along up with him as the kiss continued. Both were sitting up now, hesitant on whether they should do anything further than just kiss.. Until Hunter made the first (may I add, bold) move. He slowly but surely slipped onto Edric's lap, causing a slight gasp to slip out of him. This surprise didn't last very long, fading away quickly as both boys lost themselves in the kiss.

Ed wrapped his arms around his waist, holding Hunter close. Hunter curled the soft strands of hair at Edric's neck around his fingers. His hands slowly fell from his hair, in favor of gently draping his arms across his shoulders. Edric smiled at this, rubbing circles with his fingers against Hunter's hips, sending shudders down his spine.

Hunter softly caressed the back of his neck, his hands roaming freely, until he found a piece of string loosely around his neck.

He broke off the kiss slowly, speaking softly in the room. "Ed. what's this?"

"What's what?" Ed asked in response, a bit disappointed that he had been stopped.

"This necklace. Where did you even get this?" His hands followed the string to the front of his chest, slowly pulling out the blue gem from his hiding place.

"Oh, uhm... It was a gift." He half-panicked, pushing it right back inside his shirt.

"From who?"

"Uhhm..." Edric was normally a fantastic liar, when he was given the time to prepare. He did not perform well under pressure though.

"What even is it? I haven't seen you wear that thing, like, ever." Hunter was beginning to get curious, and frankly, a bit suspicious.

"It's a necklace, idiot."

"Take it off then, I think it can damage a necklace to wear it so often." He didn't have too big of an issue, normally, but something about it just... set him off.

"It's fine, don't worry." He tried to close the discussion, going in for a kiss... but quickly stopped and pushed away by Hunter's hand.

"Ed, there's something about that thing that just doesn't sit right with me. What even is the big deal about taking it off?" He tilted his head, slightly confused.

"It's got some value to me and I don't wanna take it off."

"What value?"

He opened his mouth to make some lie about his twin sister and how it used to be hers, but... Edric couldn't force himself to. He couldn't lie to Hunter like this, not after everything they've been through together.

"It's... You're gonna look at me like I'm some deranged criminal."

"Do I really look I'd ever judge you that badly?" Hunter reached a hand up to cup his face, comforting the boy.

"No. It's, well... It's something called a concealment stone. It basically uses some kind of weird illusion magic to alter someone's appearance, however they want."

"But you don't look any different? Besides your hair length, obviously."

"Maybe not to you, but that's because I've done very, very small changes... Whiter teeth, clearer skin, neater hair. That's why I've been so put together for so long."

"But... why?"

He was really dreading that question. How was he supposed to explain how much he had hated his reflection, how much he dreaded looking in the mirror all because of the way he looked to the one person in the whole world who looked at him like he was some angel? It sounded like the stupidest thing in the world to be worried about, especially when they had so much else going on. 

Hunter would understand, though.

"I don't like the way I look. I actually don't... remember a time I've been really happy with myself." He mumbled, looking away slightly embarrassed. 

"You're self conscious? Ed, love, why haven't you mentioned this before?" Hunter frowned, holding his face between both hands.

"Because it sounded weird, trying to tell you that I'm self conscious. You weren't even born in the right body! How was I supposed to look you dead in the eyes and say that I hated the way I looked when you're gonna have to spend thousands of dollars just to have the body of your dreams?"

"I've learned to live with it, Edric. I've had this body for sixteen years, it isn't half as big of a deal as it was when I realized I didn't feel right." Hunter shrugged, knowing it went much deeper than that., considering he wasn't even human.

"I've looked like this for years too, though. I'm living with it."

"Not the way you should. I'm definitely no therapist and I really do suck at communication, you've known this since I  woke up from that nightmare. But even I know this isn't a healthy way to deal with it.. I only feel fine because I've truly, actually accepted it. Have you?"

Edric opened his mouth to speak, but... he hadn't. He just told himself there were ways to change his appearance. That was one of the reasons he had dyed his hair, just to feel better than he had before. Slowly, he shook his head.

"Alright... Well, we're gonna try and work on it, okay? But I really want to get rid of that concealment stone thing. That is not healthy for you to be wearing." Hunter reached for his necklace. Edric immediately flinched, but calmed down quickly.

Hunter slowly slipped it off of him, a smog of blue smoke appearing as the illusion disappeared. Ed looked away in embarrassment. His hair was much shaggier and messier, he just look more disheveled in general.

Hunter couldn't care less. He smiled sweetly, setting the necklace on their bedside table. He kissed his forehead before laying down again.

"Come on love, let's get some rest. It's been a long night.

1215 words