Secret Admirer- Vance Hopper

Two Broken Kids Saving Eachother

New Years came and went by this point.
Until the last day of school I kept receiving the letters. They weren't creepy anymore. They were more...sad?

Why won't you like me the way I like you?
- <3

You're my favourite song
- <3

I want you for myself, but a heart like yours could never love a heart like mine...
- <3

I'm starting to think this was all a mistake. But I just can't be away from you..
- <3

Wish you could be my New Year's kiss..
- <3

I die more and more each day when you're not in my presence
- <3

Even tho they creeped me out last year, I couldn't help but feel kinda bad for them. If only I knew who was behind these letters... The weird dreams stopped for the most part. Y/N would sometimes appear in my dreams as a background character or whatever. But they would always just stare blankly at some random spot. They wouldn't even blink. No idea what's that all about. Well, we're back at the shithole again. At least I had time to catch up on pinball during winter break. It was the first day back at school. God, I hated every second of it. I didn't feel like waking up and getting to class on time, so I didn't. I entered the class at least 10 minutes late. The teacher obviously lectured me but I couldn't give a shit.
I looked around the classroom for an empty seat. I saw one next to Y/n. They looked awful.. In a sick type of way. They were pale, skinnier than before and the bags underneath their eyes were way darker than usual. They were staring blankly at the desk in front of them. Just like they did in my dreams. I sat down next to them. Everyone was already doing something, except for Y/N. They didn't even realize I sat next to them. I was kinda worried for them honestly... The teacher looked at Y/N with simpathetic eyes, then looked at me with the same worried look I had. Last year I found out that they have the yellow pass, which was basically a free hall pass and they could use it whenever they weren't doing well. They haven't used it yet. In my opinion, they should. I think the teacher thought the same.

After urging the others to do the work, the teacher approached our desk. She spoke in a low tone so nobody could hear. "Y/N, sweetie? I can see that you're unwell. You know you can leave anytime or talk to someone, right?" Y/N just looked at the teacher with tired eyes and nodded. "Would you like to use the restroom and freshen up or talk to someone?" They shook their head. The teacher now turned to me, concern visible on her face. "I've seen that you two are quite close. How about instead of working I let you two out early?" She gave a soft smile to both of us. I gathered both mine and y/n's stuff. They sighed before getting out of their seat. We exited the class. They insisted on me giving them their bag. I had no other choice but to oblige. I suggested on getting some fresh air. They shook their head. I didn't know what was going on with them, but I wanted to help. I started walking towards the bleachers with Y/N following behind me. That was our spot. It will cheer them up, right?

We finally got to our spot under the bleachers and sat down. "Are you alright?" I finally asked them. "Mhm..Just tired that's all..." they did indeed look tired, but I know that's not the only thing going on. I moved closer to them and rested their head on my shoulder. They tensed up a little bit, but soon relaxed. I don't usually do this, but who gives a fuck. I can see that they're not okay. I don't know why they don't wanna tell me what's going on, but I won't push it. The best I can do right now is be there for them.

We sat like this for a few minutes until I felt something cold running down my arm. I looked at Y/n, they were crying. Tears were streaming down their face, but their expression remained cold and blank. It's almost as if they didn't even know they were crying. I panicked slightly, I had no idea what to do. I tried to think of ways to comfort them but nothing really came to mind. I hesitated a little bit before just pulling them into a hug. They didn't react. They just accepted my embrace. I sighed slightly. It really hurt seeing them like this. "Thank you.. " their voice was quiet. Eventually they pulled away to wipe the tears off their face. Their eyes were dull... I remembered what they told me once...

"You don't express much emotion. How come?" I asked.
"I'm not sure if I still have emotions at this point.. I just feel sort of.. numby you know?" they replied not looking at me.

Oh... Now I finally understood everything. The 'free' hall pass, isolating themselves, lack of emotion, visible bags under their eyes, why they got skinnier, and now this.. numb crying. They are battling depression... and slowly losing. I don't really know the feeling, but I know the signs pretty well. I've seen them before. "Mental health not doing so great?" "I guess... Don't really wanna talk about it... Sorry"  "No need to apologise. I'm here if you need me." I replied. They looked at me and gave me a soft smile which I returned.
If a year ago you told me that I'd have a soft spot for someone, I'd probably laugh. But now, I can't imagine my life without Y/N. Just two broken kids saving eachother's lives.