Blood Must Have Love (Bellamy x reader/OC)

Chapter Twelve: Them and Us

It's been a full week since Indra gave me the scouting job with Octavia and Lincoln.  We've only left Arkadia twice so far to travel all the way to the destroyed town of Tondc to look for leftover parts and supplies Skaikru can use.  All under the orders of Indra, who told us she's been communicating with Lexa.

I've left Arkadia three other times to hunt with Bellamy, Raven, Monty, Octavia, and sometimes Jasper.  Jasper is not the same boy who I met in Mount Weather.  Maya's death has changed him.  He barely talks when we're out in the woods and when he does it's some sort of a bitter remark.  His eyes seem hollow and his expression is always sour.  I don't try to talk to him any more than I have to.  I don't know how.

One day after Bellamy and I came back from hunting, I gave him the book I had found with Octavia; The Iliad.  He seemed surprised at the fact that I had remembered the book and he told me that people don't usually think to give him gifts.  When I told him he deserves a gift for all that he's done for me, he seemed flustered, like I wasn't supposed to acknowledge the fact that he is gentler and kinder around me.

"Can you read the book to ai?" I had asked him.

Bellamy smiled and nodded his head.  "Of course.  It'll be good English practice for you."

So Bellamy read. I didn't understand most of the words he was saying, but the sound of his voice calmed me and I could tell he enjoyed the simple fact that I was near and listening. After he would wrap up reading, he always explained the chapter to me and went over certain words and phrases he knew I wouldn't pick up on. Even after the two weeks I've been in Arkadia, my English has already improved a lot.

Right now, I lay with my back flat against the floor and my feet up, arms above my head.

"You can do it. What's the phrase you told me Trikru says? Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim (get knocked down, get back up)," Bellamy recites. He stands over me and holds out a hand.

"I am no fighter. I will never be like you or Lincoln or even Octavia," I state, huffing.

"Not true," he says, bending down and grabbing my hands himself. He lifts me up to my feet. "Again."

I stare at Bellamy with a deadpan expression and then get back into position.

For the past hour we've been working on how to dodge certain moves. Yesterday, Lincoln said it was better to learn how to avoid moves first so that I have more of a chance of either getting away or finding another way to take someone down. Bellamy works with me on hand-to-hand combat while Lincoln teaches me sword and knife skills.

My aim when throwing things or shooting things is already perfect, so Lincoln and Bellamy told me I can practice those on my own.

Bellamy had tried to show me how to use a gun, but I had refused to touch it. They reminded me too much of the guards at Mount Weather, and when I said that Bellamy immediately went soft and told me that I didn't have to know and it was just an offer.

Bellamy runs forward to try his usual tackle tactic, but I jump to the side swiftly, remembering what he said about dodging a tackle in my head. He twists around and shoots out his leg to try and knock me to the floor, but I kick it away and then swing under the arm that comes toward me.

My back is to Bellamy for too long and he grabs my arm, yanking my back against his chest and his other arm crosses over my front, keeping me in place.

"That was good," he says, breath fanning against my cheek. "But you've got to stay locked into the fight, not turned away from me."

I'm very much aware of how close we are and how his mouth is right next to my ear. And if I leaned back just a small bit, my head would be against his collarbone and I would be able to see his face.

I shove my hips back suddenly and it knocks him off of me. He stumbles back a few steps and I flip around to face him, smirking proudly at my "use of my whole body" like he says I need to do.

He puts his hands up in surrender, grinning at me. "Alright, alright. I'm impressed." He lowers his hands, relaxed and looking like he's about to bend down to get a drink of water from his water bottle, but instead he pushes me off the mat and into the wall behind me, hand coming behind my head to protect it before both of his hands grab my wrists and pin them to the wall space beside me.  "What was I just talking about?  Don't drop your guard, sweetheart."

The nickname makes my chest flutter and my stomach feel funny.  I search around in my head for something to retort back to him, but I come up with nothing; Bellamy being so close to my face and pressed against me is rendering my mind useless at the moment.

What is wrong with me?  I am never going to learn how to fight if I get too distracted by my own opponent.

I'm looking up into his eyes through my eyelashes and his expression reads as some sort of internal battle.  His hands remain on my wrists, as if he doesn't want to let go.  I don't know if I want him too either.

Someone walks into the room and Bellamy jumps away from me as if I electrocuted him somehow.

It's Octavia who's entered and she's looking between Bellamy and I as if she knows something that the both of us are unaware of.  I open my mouth to ask what's up, but she beats me to speaking.

"Training hard?" She asks.  There's some sort of weird amusement to her tone.  Why is everyone acting so weird?

Bellamy turns his head down and grabs his water bottle to take a sip, so I can't get a glance at what he's thinking right now.

Octavia shakes her head, smiling slightly.  "Whatever.  I've gotta talk to the both of you."

"Okay," I oblige.  I grab my own water bottle and follow Octavia out of the room, Bellamy filing in behind me.  We start walking down the hallway.

"Abby wants to send people into Mount Weather to grab supplies," Octavia tells the both of us.

My stomach drops.  "What?"

"Don't you think it's kind of too soon for that?" Bellamy asks.

Octavia just shrugs.  "It's not up to me.  Abby thinks that the sooner we get back there, the easier the clean-up will be."

The image of all the bodies of the mountain people flashes into my mind.  Children, mothers, fathers, teachers.  All very real people that I was glad were dead not too long ago.  Now I can't help but feel bad for them.  Not all of them aided the scientists in my daily torture for months.

"Why are you telling us this?"

"We'll I'm telling Bellamy because they want him on the team to go back there since he was our inside man," she explains.  She stops and turns to face me.  "And I'm telling you because you should know that Trikru is not at all happy about Skaikru trying to capitalize on Mount Weather goods.  A shit ton of them died there."

I know Octavia means well, but every time someone refers to Trikru as being a 'them', I can't help but feel excluded and lonely.  I am part of the 'them' and nobody has told me a sentence with 'us' in it for a while.

At least she is an outsider as well, in her own way.

"What are we to do?" I question.

"We have to convince Indra and Lexa that Skaikru means well and is going to share the supplies."