Heart Beat

A Bitter Taste

"Susie, you look lovely dear, very... pink!" He smiled as he took in the dress and shoes. Something he could never have imagined Angie wearing in a month of Pancake Tuesdays. He offered his arm as she appeared at her door. " For you love," he added as he handed her a bouquet of white roses.

"White?" She looked at him with a frown,"not red?"

Inwardly, he sighed. She really had no idea what was coming. "No love, all flowers have a meaning. For example, blue hyacinths to say sorry. Yellow roses for sincerity, red for passion." He paused, and she jumped in "ooh let me guess? White for a w...."

"We're going to be late," he interrupted quickly before she could say anymore. " Let's go?"

They got into the taxi, and they drove off without another word, his face silently neutral.

"Well, aren't you the mysterious one!" She said with a glint in her eye. "Got something planned for tonight? Something... special?" She gazed over at him, and he got the sinking feeling he knew where this was leading.

"Well, we do need to have a serious conversation, love." He said, trying to postpone things till he got them in private - and NOT in a taxi.

They reached the restaurant, and he got out quickly, handing the driver the money plus a generous tip.

The restaurant was small and discrete. It was also horrifically expensive and very exclusive, not somewhere he would normally frequent. But, since he was about to drop a bombshell, he'd wanted her to have privacy.

He helped Susie out of the car as she smiled sweetly and gripped his hand. "Oooh, Im so happy, darling. This is just lovely." She looked around. "No paps tonight?" It struck him she almost sounded disappointed.

"No, it seems not, I'm glad to say." He cut that conversation dead. "Sometimes you just want a bit of peace. Sometimes I just..." he trailed off as he looked at her. She was gazing up at him, nodding. She would agree with anything he said, and it grated on him. Not like Angie, he couldn't help but add mentally then cursed himself. He needed a clear head. She would NOT help that.

They passed a pleasant enough meal.
The food was as good as he remembered, his favourite steak and a decent red wine. Shame it tasted like cardboard and vinegar tonight.

In another life, with another woman, it would have been romantic. A cosy table for two. Candles and a snowy white cloth, crystal glasses reflecting the candlelight into her eyes. Susie had pretty eyes, yes, but eyes that never once had shone with fire of any kind, neither anger nor desire.

"You ok, darling?" She picked up her glass and swallowed a mouthful, letting the wine warm its way down.
Susie had the feeling tonight was going to be memorable.

Tom had to admit, with Susie, you never had an awkward evening. She was good at what she did. Being funny and entertaining. Chatty and enthusiastic and charming. She had a conversation for every occasion, even if it was fairly brainless. What he wouldnt give for a bit of a challenge.

Eventually, there was no more food to be eaten. No more coffee to be drunk. He knew he had to bite the bullet. Putting his espresso down, he looked across at her. She was sitting admiring him, just smiling. He felt slightly sick. It would be like kicking a puppy.

"Susie?" He grasped her hand, and she smiled into his eyes.

"Yes, darling?" Her voice was small but unmistakably excited.

"We need to talk, darling." He swallowed and then took a breath to steady his nerves. "There's something I need to say. Something I should have said long before now. About us, about our future." He opened his eyes and looked at her. She was smiling and crying. Oh fuck.

"Yes darling!" She nodded "oh absolutely yes!" She jumped up and almost ran around the table, grabbing his face and kissing him. "I knew from the moment we met we would be together forever. I knew you loved me!"

His heart sank into his boots. This had gone so horribly wrong. She'd completely misunderstood and now? Now he had to deal with the aftermath. But not here. He couldn't do that to her in public. Damn you Hiddleston, he scolded himself. You are a fecking idiot and a coward.

"Let's go home Susie, let's go home and talk about... the future." He couldnt bring himself to say anything else for fear he would cry. He really was that upset.

"Oh Tom! Of course we can. I so want to get you on your own!" She smiled coyly and stood up. "After all, we have things to plan!"

It was the longest ride home of his life.

Angie sat and looked at the tv. She couldn't actually say she was watching anything. The images played out on the screen, but if you'd asked, she wouldn't have had a clue what was on.

The day had, despite her little upset, gone incredibly well in the end. Thanks in no small part, as Simon had pointed out, to her. The problem for Angie was that she had lost her mind. Completely. And it wasn't Tom that was to blame. It was her.

When she'd been standing in the kitchen, allowing herself to feel the almost animal attraction between them, she'd succumbed. To desire, to her own dreams. He'd flirted outrageously, and she had fallen for it. Hook line and sinker.

She closed her eyes, and the image of him leaning over her, his lips mere inches away, gave her goosebumps.
Just as she sank into another fantasy, she remembered his voice. Remembered his words that had cut her to the quick.

"You know I live to please you, my sweet."

He hadn't suddenly fallen for her.

He was just having fun. Nothing she didnt encourage by her own actions to be truthful. She had to show him she wasn't fooled. He did NOT love her. Of course not. He had a girlfriend. Ok, so she looked like and sounded like a poodle on helium, but he had chosen to be with her. Angie had no right.

"Respect his choices. Be professional. Be a friend." She would make it her mantra. If she didn't fall in love with him, it would all be much simpler.

Since when was her life EVER simple she wondered, curling up in bed that night. Her empty, lonely bed.

God, she totally hated him for being so wonderful. The next two days would be hellish.

She was a terrible liar.