Heart Beat

Over

"For GODS SAKE Susie will you listen to me?" he ran down the street, his long hair streaming behind him. He grabbed her and pulled her back. "Susie. Please."

She stopped and looked at him, eyes full of disappointment, full of disbelief. "You LOVE me Tom." she said "You love ME not HER, ME!"

"Oh Susie I don't love her! I don't. She's just a friend. We work together. She's a good and funny friend. That's all." He shouted at her, forgetting who he was, where he was, and most importantly? Who else could hear.

That included a mortified and soaked woman currently climbing into a cab trying to save her dignity in a despicable situation. She heard every word. Saw him pull the angry mouse-turned-lion to him and look down at her. If that wasn't bad enough, she saw them kiss. Her heart imploded and she got into the cab and drove away.

Susie pulled back from the kiss she'd instinctively given him. There had been nothing on the other side of it. It had been like kissing a statue. For the first time, she really understood. He really didn't want to marry her. "You don't love me do you?" she said quietly. Tom shook his head.

"No Susie, I don't. And before you say it, I haven't been with anyone behind your back. And no, I don't love Angie. Not the way you think. I - I don't know WHAT I feel for her, I just know I need to find out and to do that, I have to be honest with you." he looked at her and for the first time, didn't see just a pretty face. He saw a woman who was hurting, because of him. "I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean for all this to happen this way. You're a nice person Susie, yes, even despite tonight." he smiled at her and she nodded.

"Ok Tom, you win. I'll collect my stuff at the weekend. You can have her there too to see it if you want. Prove that we're - well there is no we is there." she waved down a passing cab. "Goodnight Tom, I hope you get everything you deserve. I really do." she climbed in and looked out at him. "I loved you Tom, I really did. But I won't fight this. Not now. Not when I see the lengths you went to for her. Take care Tom. Of yourself and her. She's going to need alot of TLC, especially now. I hope you manage it. For her sake. "

The taxi drew away and he watched it go. The crowd of onlookers dispersed and he wandered slowly back to the pub. Before he reached the door, he stopped and looked at his watch. It was only 9. Jumping into a cab, he gave the address.

He had time. He had to try.

She was sitting in her living room, curled up on the sofa, drinking wine and feeling at odds with the world. Men, love, life in general, they were all against her. She was contemplating going to bed rather than finish the bottle and feel like shit the next day when she heard a car draw up. Her street, well Cul-de-sac actually, had little traffic. Curious, she peeked out the blinds and watched as a black cab stopped at her gate.

A tall, dark, handsome devil got out and paid the fare. Standing looking at her house, she could see him take a few deep breaths. What could he POSSIBLY have to say that she would want to hear? She set her jaw in a determined scowl. Nothing he could say would excuse what had happened tonight.

He walked up the steps like a man going to the gallows. His eyes trained on the door, his fate. His heart thumped and his palms were sweaty. He didn't love her eh? Was that what passed for the truth in his world these days? He couldn't love her. Not yet, it wasn't possible. He didn't really even know her. He only knew he had to be with her. He raised his hand to knock but before the leather made contact with the wood, it swung open.

Looking down, his heart broke. Angie stood in front of him, fresh from a shower, no longer smelling of lager. In what looked like a sleep t-shirt and shorts, she had her hair loose and damp about her shoulders. She looked beautiful. A beautiful, natural, version of the fire spitting hellcat from before. Now, though, she was a broken shadow. A barefoot, wineglass clutching broken shadow.

"You'd better come in then." she said flatly.

"You sure?"

"Yes. Don't want the neighbours to get a show. Come in before someone sees you." she stood back and indicated to the living room.

"Thanks." he stepped over the threshold and bent to kiss her cheek, she stepped back out of the way, looking at him with a hard glare. "Sorry."

"Drink?" she said topping up her glass and looking for a second one for him. She would be polite, even if she did actually want to pour it over his head.

"Thanks - yes." he stood awkwardly. "May I?" he pointed to an easy chair and she nodded. What harm would it do. He clearly had something to say. Might as well do it now, tomorrow was going to be bad enough without an atmosphere.

She passed him a glass and he took it with a quiet thank you. Their eyes met and each saw the pain in the other. She wasn't letting her guard down for a minute. Not again.

"Tom..."

"Angie..."

"You first" he said, suddenly not trusting himself not to cry.

She looked at him and nodded. Swallowing the glass almost in one, she winced. Never do that again, she scolded herself. She stood up, walked to the window and sat on the ledge. Space, she needed space.

"Tom, I think we need to take a step back. Start again. I heard what you said. About not loving her. About not loving me." she paused, considering her options. "We can be friends if that's what you want. We can be good friends, I think. What we can't be is...." she waited and looked at him "is this... this hot mess." her hands gestured back and forth. "Quite frankly, my heart can't take it. You may not realise it Tom, but you're a handsome man." she smiled and he blushed smiling at his feet. "You looking the way you do ordinarily, let alone tonight" she lingered on his body then looked at his face again. "You're lethal. You do know that?" she smiled and blushed.

He said nothing. Just stood. This was more than he'd dared hope for. "Friends eh?" he said softly "Does that mean I get to see you... as a friend?" he held out a hand a stood up. She nodded and walked over to him. He took her hand "Do I get to hold your hand and hug you... as a friend?" She made it look like she was considering it, then nodded silently. He raised it to his lips and and kissed it softly. She tightened the grip of her fingers around his.

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her. Instantly, his warm body pressed to hers, she began to feel all the old emotions rising. It just wasn't possible to stop them. He looked down at her, his eyes inky pools ringed by sparks of ocean blue-green, his long dark hair hanging in a curtain. She reached up and tucked it behind his ear, her fingers trailing feather light along that razor sharp cheekbone and he sighed into her touch.

"And Tom?"

"Yes?" his eyes opened and he saw a new light in hers. A beacon of hope.

"You get to kiss me, as a good, a very good, friend. If you want." she said tentatively, crossing everything she possessed.

"Like this?" he bent and pressed his lips to hers, his gloved hands moving to hold her cheeks. The warm leather and the velvet kiss making her moan slightly. He pushed his tongue against her lips and she opened to admit him. They deepened the kiss, pressing their bodies together in a pact. A pact of understanding, a pact of desire and of reconciliation. He groaned softly and they broke the kiss, flushed and breathless.

"Yes," she managed, swallowing. "Exactly like that."