Imagining Us

Chapter 16

It was one o'clock in the morning, and they were right back where they started. Esi, Lauren and Alicia were sitting in the living room of the apartment. Heels were cast aside, and the girls were currently munching on plantain fries they bought from a Caribbean food cart. They surreptitiously glanced at each other, no one saying anything. As much as she loved her friends, Esi was tired and she knew that her train would leave in the morning, so sleep was a necessity.

She cleared her throat, and both sets of eyes flew towards her.

"I know that this isn't necessary, but...I'm gonna preface this conversation by saying that we are all friends, and nobody is going to get judged here." She used her hands to gesture between the three of them.

"Well, that's a given," Alicia stated.

"Okay....so—

Alicia cut Esi off before she could begin.

"I know what you're trying to do Esi, and I don't think it's necessary," Alicia ran a hand over her short, dark coils frustratingly. "I just need...I need Lauren to tell me what's wrong. Everytime Jamie is around, she closes off, or ignores him. Did Jamie do or say something wrong? Did I—

"You didn't do anything!" Lauren interjected loudly. "Jamie didn't do anything either."

Alicia matched her tone, "Then what is the problem?"

Lauren's eyes flitted between Alicia and Esi. She opened and closed her mouth several times, but the words wouldn't come.

Esi nodded to her encouragingly. "Go on Lo. Tell her."

Before she even began to speak, tears welled in Lauren's eyes. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, Alicia. I don't know..I...it's so stupid." She tried to explain how she felt through the tears. She spoke about her parents, her upbringing, and her fear of being left behind without support.

She hadn't even finished when Alicia scrambled off of the couch towards her, enveloping her in a hug.

Alicia let her cry for a while, then pulled back. She brushed Lauren's hair out of her face. "You silly, silly sweet girl. I really wished you told me how you felt. As if you could ever get rid of me. You're my best friend..." Alicia turned to Esi. "No offense."

Esi waved her off. She knew that Alicia and Lauren were closer, and she was glad that they had each other.

" Jamie and I are still new, and yes, I really, really like him, but you're the number one person in my life. No one else has been there for me like you," She chewed on her lip, a tell tale sign that she was anxious. "And I get scared too—

"You do? Why?" Lauren interjected.

"Because I don't want to be alone either. That's why I was so glad when you agreed to move down here with me. I didn't want to be alone. It's been like that my whole life."

Lauren reached out her hand to offer comfort and Esi watched the scene unfold before her.

"I like what we have now...together. Jamie knows that too. That's why he always insists on the three of us doing things together. So don't worry about him, okay?"

Lauren nodded her head.

"We good?" Alicia asked.

"Yea..." Lauren sniffed. "I'm sorry."

"Oh hush," Alicia retorted and hugged her friend. She leaned her head back to address Esi. "You're really gonna mess up this moment?"

"What're you talking about?" Esi asked.

"Group hug, please." Alicia stretched out her arms towards her, and Esi put down her chips container and crawled over to hug her friends.

"I love you guys." Lauren whispered.