Imagining Us

Chapter 19

When Elizabeth Solomon was seven years old, she'd decided that she wanted to be a doctor. Specifically, a medical examiner. Her mom loved watching NCIS, so after school, Esi would rush to do her homework and curl up on the couch with her mum to watch the show. It was the medical examiner, Ducky, that always fascinated her. Firstly, he sounded like her—British—surrounded by a plethora of American accents, but what caught her attention was how he spoke to the dead. How he spoke to the bodies—with care and concern. But, what she liked best was that they didn't speak back. They could only listen; they couldn't judge.

As she grew older, Esi realized that she liked to listen to people, she liked to understand—to know— the needs of others so that she could help them. That is why she pursued a career in Global Affairs, because they were people in the world who had to take whatever was handed to them—they weren't asked about their needs, people just assumed for them, and she hoped that someday, she could be a part of the force to change that.

Needless to say, being a medical examiner wasn't for her, because even if the dead couldn't speak back, they still had a story, a past, a reason for dying, and people left behind who were grieving and seeking answers.

~~~

It was a Tuesday evening, and she was at her parent's house for dinner. She arrived a bit early and offered to help her mum prepare dinner. It was pointless, her mom was in her domain, and wouldn't want to be deserved. 

Esi groaned. She had a healthy appetite, but she knew that this meant there would be way too much food, and that she would be forced to sit under her mom's scrutinous eyes to make sure that she ate every bit. Her mum would be quick to allude to Esi's career by saying, "Think of your job, Elizabeth—it was always the legal first name when she wanted to hammer home her point—think of the people in need." As if it wasn't Esi's job—her life. As if she needed a reminder. But mums knew how to aim the guilt right where it would work, so she would eat everything.

As she sat in the living room texting a barrage of memes to her brother, she could hear her mum tinkering around in the kitchen. As loud as the pots and pans were, there was something soothing about listening to the cacophony. That, combined with the smell of the spices as the oxtail stewed—there was nowhere like her parent's home.

Esi's eyes ran over the wooden stand where the tv rested. The cubby holes were littered with items that held many memories. There were childhood pictures of her and her brother from primary school right up to college. A large picture of her parents at their wedding hung over the stand. She had seen that picture many times over the years, but the expressions in the photo never ceased to amaze her. Her dad looked directly at the camera, his face completely taken over by the smile on his face. A smile so wide that she could clearly see the slight chip on one of his right premolars. She smiled as she remembered him relating the story behind it. Greediness caused that break.

It was her mum's face that amazed her every time. She wasn't looking at the camera. Her gaze was turned to Esi's dad, and she looked at him like he was it. Like there was no one else at the celebration but him. Like he was all that she was there for. She knew that this photo was not an accurate depiction of her parent's marriage. It didn't mean that her mum was more in love with her dad than he was with her. But, she'd seen it so many times throughout her life, how her mum would constantly put her dad first. Put her whole family first. And it made Esi wonder, if by losing yourself so much in someone that you love could cause you to sacrifice some parts of yourself. The thought made her scared. She'd never spoken to her mum about why she left her accounting job, but knowing how proactive she was, it was hard for Esi to reconcile why her mum would give up after all the hard work and sacrifices made to earn her degree and get that job.