Imagining Us

Ch. 38- Can we just talk?

They stared at each other.

Neither of them said anything.

As much as she had been talking about reaching out to him and even intentionally sending him messages, she had cooled off for the last few weeks.

Esi was still upset, and was determined to not be the one who spoke first. She had a feeling that this wasn't something that he was used to. That he was rarely on the apologizing end of a confrontation.

"Eliza—" He started to use that name again, but she arched her brows in disbelief.

He knew what it meant when he used her first name, especially when his voice spoke it so tenderly.

He sighed like someone who had come to grips with their reality— like someone who had lost a battle.

"I'm sorry." Porte whispered it to her, and his words whirled around her like a caress. They beckoned her to give in—to forgive him, but she needed a reason, she wanted to know why he'd ignored her.

So, she pretended that she didn't hear him.

This was different for her.

She hated confrontation—was normally quick to take the apology—whether sincere or not—and move on.

Esi couldn't understand her mind. Couldn't understand why this situation was determined to leech on her mind.

"I'm sorry," he said again, louder than before. He probably thought that she hadn't heard him, but she was waiting on more.

Did he think that an apology was all it took?

"Okay," she replied, and turned her focus to Luka's comic-plastered walls.

Porte stepped forward. "Okay? Is that it?"

Her anger gave way to hurt.

What was he sorry for?

Was he even aware of what he did?

She sighed wearily and finally turned to him, allowing him to see the hurt in her eyes. The hurt that she'd tried to mask with anger at the beginning of the conversation.

"What do you want me to say, Porte? That I thought we were friends, that I didn't expect you to ignore me after we've been having such a great time together? After you wanted to be friends." She let out a harsh laugh."Why are you really sorry, Porte? Because I've done this dance before..."

Porte struggled to maintain control over his expression.

"If you really didn't want to be friends, what can I do but accept it. Sometimes people just don't want m—she caught herself before a truth slipped out—other people in their lives."

Esi watched as a pensive look overtook Porte's face. Like he understood what she didn't say.

"And you would just accept that? You would just believe that someone doesn't want you in their life?" He asked unbelievingly.

His question hit her in the chest with such force, and she would've been warmed by his sentiment if she wasn't currently experiencing the same unsureness with their "friendship".

The nerve of him to question her thoughts when he disappeared on her like that.

"Really, Porte? What about what you've been doing? Disappearing on me like that? NO messages...nothing. I know we just met, and you're not obligated to me, but you're the one who wanted this friendship." Her traitorous voice cracked on the last word, and Esi paused to take a breath when she saw his pointed expression change.
Maybe he hadn't expected her to react this way or maybe no one had ever spoken to him like this, but she didn't appreciate how he had turned the conversation to her.