Imagining Us

Ch.55- Forgive Me for Caring

Esi was still mildly in shock.

By some miracle, thank God, she'd finally received an email from Dr. Iskakov's office to meet with him. She was a week past her deadline for her committee to meet, but she'd convinced Dr. Carlton to give her a little more time. She knew that pulling this off would be hectic-it was Mid-April and exams were about to begin,but Esi held out hope. If not, she would just go with plan B.

She shifted nervously in the chair outside of his office. It was late in the afternoon,and it seemed as if she'd been given the last appointment of the day. Yet, it was ten minutes past the allotted time.

The door to her left opened abruptly. His figure was as imposing as she remembered.

"Ms. Solomon, enter," he said gruffly.

She'd half expected the door to slam behind her as she entered.

"Have a seat." He gestured to a chair in front of his desk.

Esi sat and waited for him to speak.

Nothing.

She had an idea of what to expect with the man-there were rumors about him all over campus. Plus, she had taken one of his classes. He wasn't the most approachable person, but this-

His attitude made her want to change her mind. Made her want to hightail it out of his office. But she was there, this was important, and she didn't want to let Dr. Carlton down.

Truthfully, she should've been doing this for herself, but she had an expectation to try to live up to-another one to weigh on her mind.

So, Esi handed him a copy of her proposal and research so far and she dove into it. She explained why she chose this topic, some of the research that she'd done, and the goal of her proposed thesis. She completed her spiel with why she thought that his perspective and expertise would add to her work.

Dr. Iskakov hadn't breathed a word as she spoke but he had at least browsed through the folder that she had given him. She watched as his sharp brown eyes tracked the words.

He then laid the folder on his desk, gazing at her in an indiscernible way. Esi braced herself for a rejection or dismissal.

He cleared his throat.

"For someone in such an altruistic major steeped in decency and nobility, you chose a rather...ignoble path of reaching me," he accused in a gruff voice.

Whatever Esi thought he'd been about to say, it certainly wasn't that!

She was confused and offended.

"Excuse me?" she exclaimed.

He chuckled dryly, and it served to irritate her even more than she was.

"Using your 'connections' to push this meeting." He all but spat the words.

"Sir-" Esi started to protest, but he cut her off.

"This is exactly the kind of behavior that is spoken about in your basic ethics class. This department is not like the others-I expect this privileged behavior in finance or law, but not here. We may have similar courses to Poli Sci, but we keep our morality at the end of this because that is what bleeds into our work. That is what allows us to genuinely help...to care for societies beyond our own. To actually make a difference," he gritted out, his Eastern European accent even more pronounced with his displeasure. "This is where it starts-"

"No offense, sir, but I have no idea what you are talking about. And I do not appreciate you casting judgment when you don't know me at all, " she gritted out, cutting off his words.