It's Murder at the Buy-Right

12

When Deke came back to the store the next afternoon, he was furious.

"You make tomatoes look pale. What's wrong? Your blood pressure must be sky high!"

"It is."

Deke slung the empty money bag on the register. He stomped into his cubby.

"Deke," said Daisy Ann. "You look like a man who needs a good listening ear."

No one was in the store. If Deke wanted to blow off a little steam, now was the time.

"We're being robbed!" Deke screamed.

"Oh, don't be silly. There's nobody in here but us. Deke? Are you having a stroke or something? You're not making any sense."

He was still standing in his little cubby, but the door was opened. Daisy Ann saw him jerk out his wallet, pull out a bill, and throw the billfold on his desk. He stormed out of the cubby.

"What does this look like to you?" he asked.

"A dirty twenty," said Daisy Ann. "You know, I heard they got cocaine all over them, Deke. Is that it? Somebody's been passing dirty money here?

Got drugs all over it?

Don't worry. I keep a big jug of antibacterial hand cleanser at the station all the time. It's super-sized, so I can clean a lot of the dough that passes our way."

"It ain't dirty, Daisy Ann. Well, not that way, anyway. It's Monopoly money."

"Counterfeit!"

"As phony as a four dollar bill!"

Daisy Ann paled.

"I found out today. Rueben made me dump out my bag. He went through the pile right in front of me. Said phony bills are being passed all over the county. We had nine fake ones. NINE! At this rate, I'll go broke by next Friday!"

"Just calm down."

"Rueben called the sheriff. We ain't the only ones been hit. But the only one that matters to me is me."

"I know. What are we going to do?"

"They gave me this at the bank," Deke said, holding up a marker. "S'posed to show you what's real 'n what ain't."

Deke had a pained look on his face. He'd finally calmed down. A little. His color was fading to normal.

"I trusted these folks 'round here. What an old fool I've been."

"Old fool, my horse's patoot! Look here, Deke," Daisy Ann said, "don't you go thinking like that. We ain't perfect, but we got some of the best folk on earth 'round here. Salt of the earth. Good honest people. Give you the shirt off their backs if you needed it. And they'd throw in their shoes too, if yours were worn out."

"I know," he said.

"Still," said Daisy Ann, "makes you wonder. Who would try to pass bogus bills? You think it has anything to do with drugs? They say Burnell was an addict. Maybe that was what killed him. Maybe he overdosed on prescription pills or whatever the latest craze is."

"The verdict's still out on what killed Burnell, Daisy Ann."

"Oh, I know," she said. "You know, I still get the jitters just thinking about what could have happened to you when found those hoodlums in the parking lot."

"Don't go getting upset," Deke said. "I can do that well enough for the both of us."

"But Deke! A dead body behind the Buy-Right! It gives me nightmares! What is this world coming to?"

She stared out the window. Her voice was soft. She was lost in thought.

"I've seen some of the people that walk through these doors. Why, they've got to be on something! And I don't think it's from smellin' too many fumes at Woody's Gas station. You know what I mean. Acting funny. Their pupils look like hockey pucks! We don't get them everyday, but often enough to give me the jeebies."

"I know," Deke said. "I've seen them come through. They creep me out, too. But what can we do? If they pay for their purchases and don't cause trouble, what can I say?"

"Makes me long for the good old days, you know. When you had to watch out for kids stealing the cigarettes."

"Yeah. Things are changing around here and not for the better," Deke said, watching the parking lot as a few cars drove in.

"Maybe you should think about hiring a security guard for the parking lot and the outside of the store."

"And how am I supposed to pay him? In groceries?"

"Nice thought, but I don't know too many who'd take liver and lights as payment. Henry might, but he's afraid of his own shadow."

"I think he's allergic to pig lungs, Daisy Ann. I know I am."