It's Murder at the Buy-Right

48

"How's the ankle, Santa?" Brawley Brinderlast asked.

"It's fine," said Daisy Ann. "Just a sprain."

"A sprain!" Buenna Iverdale gasped. "Those things can be worse than a break!"

"You were lucky," said Brawley. "But I bet that plunge wrecked havoc on Santa's beard."

"You thinkin' about giving me a coupon on electrolysis, Brawley?" Daisy Ann asked, ringing up the beautician's purchases.

"Ha, ha! That's a good one," said Buenna. "Just wait until I tell the girls that you're going to Brawley's to have your beard and moustache zapped, Daisy Ann."

"Hey, Midge," Daisy Ann said. "How you doing?"

"I've been better," she said.

"I'll bet she has," said Buenna. "Niles got nabbed for trying to get some 'free' food at Albion's"

"I heard that. When he tried to leave the store without paying for his sub, he got mouthy. Punched Richmond Eades in the face."

"That ain't good," said Naldinia Tims.

"And when they cuffed him and frisked him," said Buenna, "he had a plastic baggie full of pills."

"Uh-ho," said Daisy Ann. "Looks like his luck has hit the skids. Shush. Here she comes."

Midge paid for her few items and left the store.

"Well," said Brawley, "I gotta get going."

"Me too," said Buenna. "I've got three loads of laundry to put in the wash."

The door opened and Richmond Eades walked in. No one could tell if Eades was sporting a shiner because the polarized sunglasses he wore wrapped around his face.

"Morning, ladies," he said.

Conversation screeched to a skidding halt as the women followed the deputy with their eyes.

Richmond disappeared around the bread aisle.

"He gives me the creeps," said Brawley.

"So do eels," said Daisy Ann.

"I know exactly what you mean," said Buenna. "Did y'all hear about the ruckus down at the sandwich shop?"

"No," said Daisy Ann. "When we passed by, it looked like somebody's boxers were on backwards. But I spent most of night waiting to have my ankle checked out at the ER."

"Oh," said Buenna, "it's like pick a number and wait down there, sometimes."

"What happened?" asked Daisy Ann.

"A riot, they say," said Buenna. "I heard it was drugs. And listen to this," she hesitated, making sure she had their undivided attention, "the stuff they confiscated never made it to Albion's desk."

"Morning, ladies."

It was Monroe Willis.

"I'm looking for Richmond. His car's out front. Is he here?"

Daisy Ann pointed to the aisle Eades had disappeared into.

Brawley and Buenna had driven away. Eades was in his car, drinking the cola and eating the donuts he'd purchased.

"How's the ankle, Santa?" Monroe asked.

"If I had a nickel for every time I've been asked that," Daisy Ann said, "I could retire."

"I bet," Monroe said.

"What happened over at Albion's, Monroe? Buenna was saying stuff that's got me really worried."

"You shouldn't listen to that gossip, Daisy Ann. Buenna's a lonely old lady with an overactive imagination. Remember when she was going all over the county saying Pickney Bucket had leprosy or VD."

"Well, Monroe, you gotta admit, Pickney had some pretty wicked looking sores."

"Uh-huh. And it was only because he was a good man that he didn't sue Buenna for all them lies she told."

"I know," said Daisy Ann. "Adult chicken pox is no laughing matter."

"Pickney was guilty of clawing and scratching his itchy patches with dirty fingernails, that's all."

"Buenna does have a flair for the dramatic."

"I know she's lonesome," Monroe said, "but gossiping for attention can get you into a lot of hot water."

Richmond blew his horn.

"I gotta go, Miss Daisy Ann. You have a good day."

Daisy Ann watched Monroe exit the store. Richmond Eades get out of his cruiser.

The deputy did not look happy. His face was inches from Monroe. He was letting Monroe have it with both barrels.

When he'd finished, Eades got into his car and sped off, leaving Monroe standing there looking like a minnow who'd just escaped being eaten by a ravenous great white shark.

Daisy Ann shuddered. She felt like one of the minnows who'd just escaped, too.