I was laying in bed, it was late. Really late, my skin was crawling. It felt like it's been pulled as tight as possible over my skin, I need I need to scratch, cut anything. My skin was uncomfortable on my bones
⚠️TW: MASSIVE SELF HARM WARNING⚠️⚠️
My blades were still there, I knew they were. My fingers twitched at the temptation, they were right there and the silence was loud. Before I knew it I was on the floor, pocket knife gripped tightly in my hand. Blade out, it was so easy, to dig into my skin and swipe away a river.
I brought the blade down at my skin, pressing as hard as I could (which is something I never do) I swiped, god that was so deep. But the pain was real. Was there, I did it again and again. Going deep, really deep. Deeper than any of my other cuts, I don't know what changed but the urges had me in a chokehold.
Finally around six-ish cuts I stopped, I was bleeding heavily. In fact it looks like I hit a vein, shit. There was blood everywhere, standing up quickly the room spun. How much blood did I lose? How deep did I go again? God I can feel it dripping down my thigh, leaning against my bed j pushed myself up. What do I do? I can't go to the bathroom, that's a long walk from my room.
I dug through my bag desperately, I had nothing. No magical solution that'll pop out of nowhere. I was bleeding out and I couldn't do anything, was this my end? Will I bleed out here and die?
My heart was racing to the point of pain, my head pounded and the room spun. I wrapped my thigh tightly in gauze but to no avail, I laid slumped awkwardly on my bed. I couldn't even get up, I was done for.
Then heavy footsteps stuttered down the hall, as if someone sense something wrong. Or it was probably the heavy smell of blood in the air, he didn't knock. He swung the door open and walked inside
Why was he still awake?
Ghost walked over to my, eyes flicking over my bloodied thighs
"Bloody Jesus what the hell did you do?" His voice was a mere whisper, but there wasn't any disgust or alarm. Just confusion, as if he was genuinely confused on why I did this
No answer came, he stared for a long moment before turning in his heel and leaving, what was he going to do? No idea, and whatever did happen I could care less. I was actively bleeding out and just...stopped caring, if I died I died.
But he came back with first aid, he stitched up the wounds and cleaned them. Weirdo, what was he gaining from this? The idea of knowing this? Maybe all he gained was the dark knowledge and the possibility of blackmail. Will he get more work out of me? don't know, all I knew was that I needed a lot of explaining to do.
But that never came as I let the exhaustion take over me, I was unconscious before I even blinked. And I wasn't bothered, good. Let me sleep
