Again

21

MINJI POV

The last week

These past months have been the best and worst of my life. Hanni came over to visit me often. Dani came a few times too, sometimes bringing Haerin and Hyein. 

For two weeks straight my days were filled with endless packing I only got a break when Somi, Jay, and Heeseung came over.  I was making good progress until I found the stuffed bear hidden in a box deep in my closet. 

It's the one Hanni won for me when we went to the arcade. I remember hiding it because I was scared of ruining it. I didn't realize I had all of these here.

With the stuffed bear were pictures from the first time I hung out with the girls at the park. Mother printed them off because she was so happy I made friends but I was too embarrassed to keep them out in the open. 

Item after item memories kept flooding back. The worst thing in the box was my old diary. My elementary school diary is filled with thoughts and random messages from carefree me.

The diary was fun to read until I got to my 8th-grade years. I haven't written like that since my grandmother passed away. I still write occasionally, in the new one Hanni gave me. 

But life has been so busy I wasn't at the speed I used to be. I was so into reading I hadn't noticed someone walked into my room.

"Min, what are you doing?" my girlfriend asked, causing me to drop the book. I picked it up and grabbed the box.

"Look" I said and passed her the box

"Is this all-" she said holding up the pictures and small toys with wide eyes

"Yup"

HANNI POV

"Fuck, I wasn't planning on crying today" 

I couldn't take it, the tears that I've been holding in. They all fell. Looking back at our pictures. Those were our fun days. The ones where we weren't stressed. The ones where we didn't have to worry about people leaving.

"Han it's okay" 

Minji said, coming up to hug me. It was comfortable, too comfortable. I got used to it. Next week will be the last time it happens.

"No it's not Minji, you're leaving me. AGAIN" 

There it was, all the emotions. I tried, I really did. I know this is hurting her, but she wasn't the only one who felt that way. 

"Don't worry, we'll be fine. You'll be fine." She assured me

"Don't lie to me Minji, that's bullshit"

"You lasted all those years before I appeared in your life, trust me you're just overreacting".

That's where she's wrong. I didn't know I needed her in my life. That's why it was okay. But now it's a different story. How can I sit back and watch her leave when she's such a big part of who I am?