Again

22

HANNI POV

I want to cry. 

There was traffic, hundreds of cars stuck. Horns honking and people yelling. We need to get there fast. I need to say bye to her. I've distanced myself but I regret it. This can't be our new normal. It hasn't even been a full week.

That's when I have to remind myself of the reason we broke up. We need to learn how to live without each other and try not to get hurt. I'm the only one missing and Minji's flight leaves soon.

This week has been a living hell. 

I got a job once school ended to keep me busy and it helps because I'm not thinking when I'm working. But coming home and not texting Minji felt so hard. I couldn't even update her on the work gossip she used to be so invested in. No friend ghosts someone the week before they move to a whole different country. That's a shitty thing to do.

But I'm on a whole different level of low, because I broke up with her a week before she has to move away. I added to the stress I know is killing her. I hurt her... I know I did. 

I saw her this week I wouldn't have been able to stay just friends. I would've taken everything back in a heartbeat if I stayed any longer. I was supposed to be the shoulder she could cry on. The rock she needed so that she could stay strong. 

But that's not possible, you can't truly help someone without helping yourself first.

I miss her family. They became my second family here. In fact, her family loved me. Which hurt me even more. When her mother walked me out I couldn't help but think she resented me. It wasn't fair for me to leave her daughter like that, but it also wasn't fair for them to leave me here and expect me to be all smiles.

. . .

We pulled up to the parking lot. I let my Godfather find a parking spot as I ran. I kept running until I found a group of people. Minjung saw me first and she jumped waving at me. 

"HANNI UNNIE! HANNI UNNIE!" she said while running to me to give me a hug

"I thought you weren't going to come" she said frowning as she hugged me tight 

"I promised you right?" I said smiling at the girl. 

She reminded me of my sister. When I would leave my sister to come back to Korea I was getting the same feeling. I knew this was going to be hard. Minjung finally let go of me when Ms.Kim announced they had to leave. I walked to my second mother and she embraced me.

For the second time today I wanted to cry. 

"Don't skip your meals okay? I won't be here to cook for you every Friday. Please take care Hanni." Mrs.Kim said and I could feel my tears forming. 

Fridays aren't something I was looking forward to anymore. I reassured Mrs.Kim that I would take care of myself and turned around to shake Mr.Kim's hand. I could feel Minji's eyes staring at the back of my head.