KOTLC/PJO Oneshots

Three things - Leo Valdez

i feel like i've been pushing away my normal angsty content for short, quick oneshots, so y'all are getting the full package with none other than the perfect angsty character <3

tw: death, su!c!de attempt, su!c!dal thoughts, anxiety

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Leo's day consists of three things. Fake. Smile. Cry. It was one day after another, the same three things over and over and over until he can't fake it anymore, he is too exhausted to smile, and he is too numb to cry. Those days he curls up into a ball, his red-rimmed eyes staring out into the darkness of his quiet room. Missed calls and unanswered texts lingering on his cracked phone screen, begging to be picked up.

He taps his fingers on the glass of the window, leaving smoky white prints that disappear as quickly as they come. He can hardly see the cloudy gray sky behind the thick pouring sheets of rain. Leo bites his lip. He doesn't like the rain. It's wet and cold and angry and harsh, and good for nothing but soaking people in water and giving him an excuse to not see his friends and fake another day.

His phone rings once more, the alarming noise piercing through his ears. A tiny groan escapes his lips as he reaches over the bed to take it. It was Jason, his name buzzing up on Leo's phone over a dark screen. He runs a hand through his untamed brown curls and plasters a cheery smile onto his face and picks up the phone.

Jason is worried, Leo notices, his eyes are wide and lips pressed into a tight line. His breathing is heavy, short and fast like he is running out of air to breathe.

"Are you okay?" Leo asks.

The blond boy opens his mouth, inhaling a whiff of air. "L-Leo? Are you okay?!"

Leo tries for a smile, "Yeah, I'm good. Are you okay?"

Jason wipes a bead of sweat off of his forehead. "I called you eight times and you didn't pick up once! I was worried about you."

He cracks a grin. "I'm okay, Sparky. I fell asleep."

"Next time please, please, please answer my calls. I was scared. I thought something happened to you." Jason closes his eyes and breathes a sigh of relief. 

"Anyways, I'm exhausted. Talk to you later."

" Pick up my call next time, okay?" The smile lines around Jason's eyes crease.

Leo nods, keeping his bright smile up as he hangs up the phone. He collapses onto his bed, wrapping his arms around himself, shutting his eyes tightly.

Leo is alive for three things. Jason, Piper, and Festus. The rest of his friends matter to him, more than he matters to them, but he thinks as soon as he's gone, they'll move on much faster. Those three however, he loves them more than anything. He lives for them, for their love, for their smiles and laughter. He'd go to the ends of the earth for them, sacrifice the world for them, do anything for them.

And just because he'd do anything for them, he wishes he weren't alive. He knows he burdens them, he knows he hurts them, he knows he isn't good for them, but he still tries. Tries to believe he helps them. Tries to believe they want him. But deep down, he knows he's replaceable. A different Hephaestus camper can care for Festus and Jason and Piper have each other.

There is a saying somewhere in the world to choose your needs over your wants. And his three reasons for being alive want him. They don't need him.

Chills crawl up Leo's arm, his arm hair standing up. He shivers slightly, getting off of the bed and walking towards the bathroom. The brass doorknob is cold under his fingers and he trembles, slowly pushing the door open.