KOTLC/PJO Oneshots

Drowning - Sophie Foster

im out of title ideas hehe, but even though i don't rlly like sophie that much as i used to, she def as some angst going on and when there's angst, there's me, so here ya go

tw: death

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Sophie is drowning. She can't breathe. She's suffocating, screaming, begging for anyone to say her.

The ocean is black. Ugly and dark and gray and black. A deep void of emotion. Of anger. Of pain and sadness and emptiness.

She is flailing. Her arms, waving and flapping around helplessly and she screams for help, her hoarse voice cracking.

Sophie is falling deeper and deeper and deeper and she doesn't know when she'll ever reach the surface. Reach the surface and poke her head out, gasp for air. Air she doesn't have. Air she'll never get.

She's choking. The water makes its way to her throat, filling her mouth with salt and chlorine and she's coughing and throwing it up, but it keeps coming, over and over and over.

She's been drowning for a long time. Drowning and falling and sinking and all the horrible horrible horrible people are pushing her in further.

She sees their laughs and grins as she sinks further into the dark ocean.

The ocean is the worst things you can think of. Pain. Envy. Anger. Jealousy. Memories. Nightmares. The faces of people she couldn't save. It haunts her every second of the day.

They all say they understand. That they know how it's like. But they can't. Because they don't. Because they are Fitz and Biana and Linh and Dex and they are drowning too, but in an entirely different ocean.

Oceans are apart. Big landmasses separate them from each other. Sophie can't reach across and squeeze Biana's hand or fall into Dex's arms.

But there is an understanding that they are all drowning together.

Like when she sees Fitz's teal eyes stained red from crying. Or Tam's hands trembling. Or Linh's lower lip quivering. She knows these people. She knows they are drowning. She is drowning. But even if they aren't in the same ocean, they are still connected with their minds. With their hearts.

Drowning hearts. She likes the sound of that.

Perhaps they will forever be the drowning hearts, the burden of the world on their young shoulders, the horrible people's angry faces sneering down at them, the elves jabbing their fingers and throwing insults their way.

Drowning hearts forever.

~

"Hey." Dex slumps down beside her. He's exhausted. His face is paler, so pale you can hardly see his freckles, and his lips are almost blue. Dark circles stand out from his periwinkle eyes.

Sophie wants to smile, but they both know there isn't any point in that. They've been through far too much to put on a pretty face and lie. "Shit day?"

"The worst." He breathes, throwing his head into his arms. "It feels like guns are pounding in my head and I haven't eaten for the past 24 hours."

"Forkle making you doing things again?" She already knows the answer.

Dex coughs in reply, massaging his temples.

Sophie turns away, staring out. "He wants another raid."

"I'm not going, right?"

She looks at him. "What do you think?"

Dex groans. "I'd rather be out there than working myself to the death on these stupid gadgets."

"Hey. It's not easy out here either."