Golden Hour [Hunter x Reader]

20: A Crack In The Glass

I have been back at the Owl House for a few days now, still bed ridden and barely moving. My lack of movement, lack of excitement, lack of LIFE has made me constantly bored and numb and I can't do anything about it. Eda has said I might just be going through something post surgical, but all of it has been leading up to this I guess. 

I try my best to hide the sadness and anger from the others in hopes to not make them uncomfortable or feel guilty. I haven't been eating as much as I should, food just isn't my priority and as of lately makes me sick to even think about eating. 

I've learnt some roundabout coping mechanisms to distract myself from... everything really. Just to appear as normal as I can, just to not appear deviate from everyone.

I've found myself kind of depersonalising, almost as if I was looking through a long tunnel. Like drowning and everyone just expects you to pretend you can breathe, for their benefit. No one wants to actually look after you in a depressive state. 

I haven't slept very well since I've been back either, the bags under my eyes the worse they ever been, my skin pale from malnourishment; I'm also very dehydrated. I am not okay, but if I tell someone that it's just pointless because all they do really is go "why be sad? Don't be sad!" Thank you so much for trying but how the titan is that supposed to help me? 

Usually when they, they being Luz and Eda, ask me if I'm okay or if I need anything; I respond with something along the lines of 'I'm okay' 'I'm fine' or 'I'm feeling better already,' because who wants to worry their family.

"[y/n]! Want to listen to my presentation about different kinds of demons?" King had scurried up to my side holding a book up, opened to a handwritten index page on demonology. I smile at the idea of a distraction from my thoughts, as weak as I felt, I loved Kings rants about demons. 

"Okay so there's three main species of demons..." King went on about the species in detail, pointing to images in his book and going over all the fun facts. 

"King! We're supposed to leave [y/n] to rest!" Luz came in and scooped up the little fluff ball, apologising to me. But Luz took a closer look at me, seeing the state I was in and gasped. 

"I thought you were doing better!" Luz yelled, getting upset that I had been lying to them and unable to contain their frustrations.

"You had been eating!"  I hadn't   "Talking!"  again, I hadn't that was mainly you  "And laughing!"  most I had done was smile  

"So what happened? Do you not appreciate what we're doing for you? We could have left you with the healing coven! Do you know how hard this has been on me? On Eda? For us to try and get you back to yourself, only for you to just-"

Luz stopped. I was absolutely terrified, tears starting to well in my eyes. 

"I'm sorry..." I couldn't go beyond a whisper, "I know I'm not worth it." 

I'm weak and fatigued, sickly pale other then the dark rings underneath my eyes, my forehead shining with a thin layer of sweat. My shoulders struggle to relax with an exhausted, breathy gasp, that burns my throat and making myself cough. I am extremely tired and delirious, as I curl up in the warm nest that is my bed, whimpering a sniffling miserably, pressing my face to the pillow and going unconscious. 

I didn't realise how bad the nightmares would become after that upsetting encounter with Luz. 

I was looking out the Owl House stained glass window when saw something in the distance of the forest, or rather someone. It was the figure of golden guard, the golden mask mocking me. 

I gulped. I felt disoriented and scared. Most of the boiling isles saw me as a wild witch, constantly being hunted down by the emperors coven, escaping their grasps every time. The boy disappeared into the vegetation, a blur of red accompanying him. In an attempt of desperation and against my better judgement I stepped outside and followed them into a clearing.

"Hunter?" I called out.

"How could you?" the boy yelled, in a betrayed tone. He slammed his fist against my chest, forcing me to the ground. "I fucking hate you."

I looked up at him, the end of his staff in my face, Hunter's emotions as always hard to read. The look on his face said a lot though, hatred, anger, but I couldn't tell what he was really thinking. 

"Goldie, I loved you," I replied.

We held each others gaze for a few moments, the soft rustle of trees in the breeze and wildlife filling the semi awkward silence.  

In one swift movement, the Golden Guard's palisman shifted into a dagger and as he lunged forward the blade met my abdomen. I trembled slightly, my hands flying over the wound.

"Well that's just great. Reliving it but in a broken can't-remember-all-parts-of-the-dream way." I scoffed, sitting up and immediately regretting it. The pain that shot to my stomach was unkind but not unbearable. I decided to attempt in standing up and leaving this room I have been isolating in for what? A week now? 

I hesitatively took a step, bracing for impact from stumbling down to the floor but, nothing. I took another step, and while I was slow I was still uo and moving. I was cautious on my way to the living room, no really it was a LIVING room. I could hear the others talking, sounded like a lecture, a mean one at that. Entering through the arch way I looked up to the door, seeing everyone (Eda, Luz, King, Willow, Gus, Amity, and Hooty) crowded at the front all angrily speaking over the other. 

"Um... guys?" I called out wearily. The way that everyones head snapped to look in my direction, followed by covering the entrance in a highly suspicious matter was concerning. 

"If Hu- sorry the GoLdEn gUaRd is at the door it's okay." I mocked, and it wasn't okay but it wasn't like I could avoid him. I'm a wild witch bound to be chased by the emperors coven who's superior is the Golden Guard. 

"[y/n] if I could just explain-" Hunter pushed through the small crowd in the doorway, attempting to plead with me. 

"Explain what exactly? How you used me to get to Eda? How you refuse to get close to me? How you go back and forth between being my enemy and being my friend? How you quite literally STABBED me?" I took a breathe, I was calm but my tone may come across otherwise. 

"You know what they say, love and hate are two sides of a very, very thin line..." 

"So do you love me or do you hate me?"

"I-"

"Don't answer that actually." I interrupted him. "I don't think I would believe you either way."

"But-"

"Why are you here, Hunter?"

"To apologise and see if you're okay."

"That's rich coming from someone who tried to kill them last week." Willow pitched in, her arms crossed over her chest and a glare that could kill directed at the Golden Guard himself.

"I know but I didn't mean too!"

"You didn't mean to attempt to murder them?" Luz got up in his face, fully ready to take off her shoe and hit him with it. 

"Technically, if Willow hadn't applied pressure to my injury when she was carrying me I would of bled out and died within five minutes." I shrugged it off but something in me quivered at the thought of dying by Hunters hand. How he had effortlessly hurt me, on purpose. 

"We can start over! I'll do anything, everything can be perfect." Hunter was becoming some what crazed, running his hand through his hair and messing it up. You could see the tears in his eyes forming and threatened to spill over. "Just please don't leave me."