𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒: 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐊 | 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐬

[ 001 ]

'Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.'
- Winston S Churchill

So there they were, the Olympic Winter Games, the first in which Luise was allowed to participate and almost one hundred percent, the last in which she participated. And that without a good result, although it had been possible. She had messed up, had fluffed too much. She knew it. She could do better. Had much greater abilities and couldn't show them.

Frustration, anger, disappointment and sadness coursed through her veins as she finished her absolutely horrible free skate and skated to the exit of the rink. A tear rolled down her cheek as her coach Florence warmly embraced her to comfort her. As if through cotton-wool, she heard the soothing words that were meant to build her up. But those words didn't build her up, they just bounced off her.

She had blown it. She had let emotions ruin the competition. And had simply fucked up. The only Olympic Games in which she could participate, she had so simply thrown away, because new, old emotions boiled up and she not had them under control.

Already on Wednesday she would have liked to quit after half of the short program, after she didn't even want to step on the ice. And then came a new day. The rumor mill was bubbling on the social media platforms, she was packed with emotions that were uncontrollable and she had to step on the ice again. Had to pretend that none of this had touched her. As if nothing had happened and the rumors were not true. But it didn't work and it showed in her free program. She had broken down inside and thousands of people saw it indirectly.

"You gave your maximum, okay? Your spins were outstanding.", Florence stroked her hair, while she was fighting with tears.

Next goal, after she managed to skate the free skate despite everything, was not to cry. She was frustrated, no question, and Luise's tears came quickly when she was mad at herself, but she didn't want that in front of the camera. Not in front of a thousand people, and not in front of her family who had come all this way just to see her skate. She wanted to show that despite her defeat, she stepped off the ice with confidence.

After getting another casual, meaningless hug from Nicholas, she put on her skate guards and then slipped into her competition jacket, which showed which country she was skating for. She left the jacket open and then walked with her two coaches to the kiss and cry zone, which was right next to the rink and where she would get the score for this miserable skate. In this zone there was a bench, a screen where you could see your score and a camera pointed right at you.

"The scores please." an announcer said, and numbers popped up on the screen and loud cheering and clapping sounded in the background.

With a total score of 205.54, which included her short program and free program, she slipped just behind fifth place. However, the Russians had not yet skated and were highly likely to fall into the top five. So ninth place, despite two bad runs, had been safe. Not even close to what Luise had hoped for, but still absolutely acceptable considering the bad runs. Still, she struggled with the tears. It could have gone better and she knew it. Ninth place was unacceptable.

Her coach knew she was struggling, which is why she gave her another light hug.

"You gave everything you had.", she whispered encouragingly.

"I know.", Luise swallowed and knew in the same breath that she didn't see it that way herself.

Not ten minutes later, she had been in the locker room and had taken off her skates. Her coaches had already gone and faced all the press, who were already hungrily waiting for answers of her run. Thankfully, though, this was the only press Luise had to go through. Not like the girls who would be on the podium. Those would hold a press conference like she had done at the European Championships.