Evolving : A Rolivia FanFic

TWENTY-THREE

It wasn't long before everyone found out about Olivia's and Amanda's engagement. Olivia went back to work in early January, with a sparkly diamond ring on her finger. 

"That's new," Fin spoke, as he stood with Olivia at the coffee pots. Olivia looked at him in confusion before the sparkle of the ring caught her eye.

"Oh, this old thing?" Olivia chuckled. 

"Did Rollins help pick that out or did you have that hidden?" Fin asked as they walked back to Olivia's office to chat before the day started.

"We went and picked it out together. It was a pretty quick trip since Charlotte was with us, but I think it's perfect. Now everyone knows that I'm engaged," Olivia beamed, as she settled down behind her desk. 

"How are the girls?"

"They are good. Amanda is enjoying not having a defined return date, especially since that means she could spend Charlotte's entire first year with her if she wanted," Olivia replied.

"What about you? Didn't you want more time off?"

"Of course I did, but we have a wedding to save up for... And I'd really love to get a house with Amanda," Olivia breathed.

"Are you already outgrowing the apartment? Charlie doesn't even walk yet," Fin questioned.

"No, we are sitting pretty comfortably in our apartment. It's just that Dodds said something to me that has gotten me to thinking about our future."

Fin didn't respond. He just leaned back in the chair and sipped his coffee as he waited for Olivia to continue. Once Olivia realized Fin wasn't going to prompt her, she decided to just let it all out. She didn't want to pressure Amanda into anything, so if she let everything out to Fin, then maybe it wouldn't be weighing her down.

"Dodds brought up the fact that maybe next time I'd want to have the baby. I called him when Amanda was in labor and we had a long conversation that really helped... But now all I can think about is having a baby."

"Does Amanda only want one baby? Is that why you seem so off about this?"

"No-" Olivia started, but stopped when the door opened and Nick walked in with an enormous smile plastered on his face.

"Welcome back, Benson! Show me some new pics of that baby!"

///

Olivia's work day dragged on, especially since all she wanted to do was be at home with her fiancee and daughter. When she walked into her apartment, Amanda had cleaned up and was busy working on dinner, with Charlie sleeping in a wrap around her chest.

"Mandy?" Olivia questioned, surprised to see that Amanda had done so much today. Over the weeks that she was recovering, Olivia made sure she did all the chores and cooking.

"Hey, baby! How was work?" Amanda smiled as she turned away from the stove.

"It was very long. How was your day?" Olivia replied.

"Charlie and I had a great day. We did a lot of snuggling and when she was sleeping, I cleaned up the apartment. We did miss you though, right Charlie? We missed Mommy a lot," Amanda cooed. Olivia looked at Amanda and the way she spoke to Charlotte, which made her want to have another baby so badly. She knew Charlotte was already bonded to her, but that didn't mean she still didn't want to experience everything that Amanda had.

"Hey, are you okay?" Amanda asked, noticing that Olivia was quiet.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Uh, let me change and I'll take over."

Olivia finished dinner and then did the dishes afterward. When Charlotte needed her bath, Olivia did it so Amanda could relax after her busy day. Amanda watched her fiancee closely and even if Olivia said she was fine, Amanda knew otherwise.

"Okay, what's really happening in that pretty head of yours?" Amanda asked. Olivia turned around quickly, her eyes wide at Amanda's question.

"Huh?"

"You have been super quiet tonight and I'm worried about you. Can you tell me what is happening?" Amanda asked. 

Olivia took a shaky breath as she tossed her work shirt into the hamper. 

"I love our relationship, Amanda. Being engaged to you has been more amazing than I expected, and I love being a mother to Charlotte. However, I've been thinking about what is next."

"I think marriage is next," Amanda smiled.

"Yes, but-"

"But what?" Amanda frowned.

"I want a house and for Charlie to have a little brother or sister," Olivia whispered.

"She's only five weeks old. I really don't think I'll be ready to get pregnant anytime soon... But we can look into a house! Maybe one in Queens? One with a nice big backyard!" Amanda smiled, but she didn't understand exactly what Olivia was saying. 

Olivia slowly sat down on the edge of the bed as she raked her fingers through her brown hair. 

"Amanda, I'm gonna turn thirty-seven in less than a month. I never expected to be engaged to someone two years younger than me, so the idea of being a mother was never on the table. Yet now that we are happy and already have a baby, I kinda... Now, I want another baby. I want to get pregnant, and I'm worried that my time will run out before I get the chance."

Amanda stood there and eyed Olivia for a long moment before hesitantly sitting beside her.

"We never discussed this."

"No, we didn't. I guess maybe we should have before we got so serious... Um, I think I'll crash on the couch tonight. I'll try to help out with Charlotte as usual," Olivia spoke, standing slowly as tears burned her eyes.

Amanda didn't know what to say, so she just nodded and swallowed hard when the bedroom door shut behind Olivia.