Evolving : A Rolivia FanFic

TWENTY-FIVE

"What?" Amanda asked quietly. When Olivia said she would give up her want to carry their next child to be with her, she had a hard time believing her. Olivia may never be truly happy if she can't experience pregnancy and see what her child may look like.

"I'm gonna run these bags to the garbage chute and then I'll be back," Olivia replied as she opened the front door and walked out. By the time she got back, Amanda was still standing where Olivia had left her. 

"Are you serious?" Amanda asked slowly.

"Yes, I'm serious. If I kept pushing the subject, you would leave me and I don't want that."

"I wouldn't leave you, Olivia! I love you and-"

"If you love me, this wouldn't have blown up this much. We would have sat down and talked through my want to become pregnant. If we decided it would be too damaging to our family, then I would have dropped it. Instead, I'm now grieving the fact I'll never be pregnant and I had to come to that decision by myself," Olivia interrupted.

Amanda slowly walked to Charlotte's swing and placed her in before turning back to Olivia. Instead of finding her fiancee standing there, she saw Olivia walking into their bedroom. Amanda followed quickly and grabbed Olivia's arm as she tried to pull clothes from their shared dresser.

"Mandy, please. I need to take a shower and head back to work."

"What do you want me to say?" Amanda asked.

"Nothing, because I already made up my mind. I know we are supposed to make decisions together, but this would have turned into a messy blowout that would have ended with you taking Charlie from me. What could be isn't nearly as important as what we have now..." Olivia trailed off, exhausted. Fighting with Amanda drained her, and that is why she gave in. Once everything was processed, Olivia was sure that she would be thankful she gave in because that meant she'd be a mother and partner instead of some lonely NYPD commanding officer.

Amanda frowned deeply and sank down onto the foot of their bed, her shaking fingers running through her hair.

"Are you sure? We can have more kids-"

"Drop it!" Olivia exclaimed as she spun to face Amanda.

Amanda nodded slowly before standing and walking to Olivia. She forced a kiss to her lips before leaving her to shower in private.

///

No matter how hard Olivia tried, she was still struggling with her decision to pick her relationship over her want to carry a child. It was hard, but she kept it bottled up in order to move forward as Amanda's fiancee and mother to their little girl.

"Happy Birthday, baby," Amanda smiled as she carried Charlotte and a plate of pancakes into her bedroom. Olivia pushed herself up slowly in bed and smiled at her fiancee and daughter.

"Thank you, Mandy and Charlie," Olivia replied as she took the baby instead of the plate. Olivia held her baby close and placed soft kisses on her forehead before caressing her chubby cheek.

"You seem more interested in our kid instead of my famous pancakes," Amanda laughed softly, as she climbed into bed beside Olivia. Their relationship was still strained, but they ignored it instead of fixing it.

"C'mon, she's much cuter than those pancakes," Olivia laughed. Amanda nodded in agreement before leaning over and kissing Olivia's neck right below her earlobe. Olivia got the usual chills, even if she didn't want to get chills.

"So, what do you want to do today?" Amanda asked once she finally convinced Olivia to take the plate.

"Whatever you want to do," Olivia replied.

"It's your birthday, not mine. So whatever you want to do, we can do it," Amanda smiled.

Olivia was incredibly tempted to say she wanted to go buy sperm and do an at-home insemination, but she kept her mouth shut regarding that.

"Maybe we could go to the mall and look around? I could use a new pair of boots and another pair of slacks," Olivia replied.

"Sounds like a plan! Finish up here and I'll get Charlie ready. I love you, Liv," Amanda beamed.

"I love you too, Mandy."

///

As the family of three wandered through the mall and entered a few stores to browse, Amanda was having a hard time taking her attention away from her phone. Olivia was worried but didn't ask because if Amanda was cheating on her, it was something that Olivia wouldn't be able to prevent.

"Can we take a break and get some lunch?" Amanda asked after she and Olivia traded off who got to carry Charlotte in the wrap.

"Sounds good," Olivia replied, as she stroked her daughter's back as she snuggled in against her chest.

They ordered from one of the many restaurants in the food court before sitting down and eating quietly. Amanda was still busy on her phone for most of the meal, and eventually, Olivia got pissed off.

"Can't you put that down for ten minutes? It's my birthday, and I'd love to spend time with you and Charlie. Not you, Charlie, and your damn phone," Olivia huffed. Amanda quickly dropped her phone and looked at Olivia with wide eyes.

"I-i'm sorry, baby. I really am."

"If you are sexting someone else, just tell me. I'd rather know that you are cheating on me-"

"I'd never cheat on you, Olivia! When we started to date, I really changed! You are the only one I want to be with, and that is why I've been on my phone all day!"

"How-"

"We have an appointment at three to see a clinic that is going to help us plan your pregnancy!" Amanda exclaimed.

Olivia's napkin slowly slipped from her hand as her eyes went wide.

"W-what?"

"I've known you for years, Liv. No matter how many times you tell me you are fine, I know you aren't. This is something you will want forever, and I hate I wasn't more supportive of that want. I am checking my phone all the time, so we leave on time and don't miss your appointment," Amanda breathed. 

Olivia was in tears as she shook her head slowly.

"Y-you don't want it, and we have to be on the same page. Thank you for trying, but-"

"I want to have another baby with you, Olivia," Amanda breathed, her hand reaching out and taking Olivia's hand.

"Please don't toy with my feelings, Amanda. This is incredibly serious."

"I know, and I'm not fucking with you. We have your appointment at three and at five, the guys are coming over for what was supposed to be a small surprise get-together."