Nova

Sirius Black

Regulus had always been small. A little behind on growing, and just looking fragile in a way most boys didn't. He wasn't sure of it, but Sirius sometimes thought that even if Reg hadn't been his brother he still would have had this burning desire to protect him.

But now things were different. In the two years they hadn't seen each other, Regulus had clad himself in amor inside and out.

All stringed muscles and fierce words.

Except right now he was back, back to looking smaller than life. Vulnerable. Hurt.

He'd fucked up. Again. He didn't know what to do, how to do this.

"I'm so sorry Reg," he started, trying for his voice to sound strong and sincere.

Regulus eyes flew up, his brows pinched and then his shoulders squared. No, no, fuck. Wrong thing to say.

He could basically see his brother locking up, a sneer setting in on his face.

"I didn't mean to go all nutcase on you," he added hurriedly as he saw the familiar mask of indifference slipping onto Regulus' face.

"Of course not," Reg scoffed, "just like you didn't mean to rip me from the only home I ever had."

Sirius sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. This was were they always landed, every conversation, every fight. It left him desperate, desperate and aching.

"Reg, this could be your home you know?"

A dry laugh escaped his brothers mouth and he folded his arms across his chest. It was meant to be intimidating Sirius knew, but it just made him want to hug Regulus tight. He'd probably bite his head off if he tried.

"This?" he gestured around with one hand, "you mean the house that you, the brother who abandoned me, and your friends, people I can not fucking stand, own. And that you're going to kick me out of in a few weeks? Bloody thanks Sirius, really."

Sirius blinked.

"I'm not going to kick you out Reg."

A nasty snarl appeared on Regs face. "I know. You're my fucking guardian. Even Sirius fucking Black isn't completely above the law."

"No, I can't kick you out Regulus."

"I. Know!"

"No!" Sirius was acting on instinct now, desperate to make his brother understand. He moved closer, careful not to touch him, "No Reggie, you don't know. I can't kick you out because I'm your brother and I would rather start sawing my own limbs off."

Regulus face was hard and cold. "And I'm supposed to believe that from someone who abandoned me for years. Low Sirius, even for you."

A distressed noise ripped from Sirius throat but he had to do this, he had to keep speaking. "Reg, I know I left. I know I abandoned you, but it was the only way I could think of to get you out. I didn't do anything else for two years Reg, you can ask the lads. I- All I wanted was to get you out. Even if I had to leave you first for it."

"That's not what I'm talking about Sirius. You abandoned me years before you actually left. You gave up on me, you-"

"Reg you hated me," Sirius voice broke.

"I still needed you Siri! I was alone and scared and Mother told me to act like all of the others, and you knew what she did if I didn't listen. So what was I supposed to do?! You were off running around with Potter and I was alone Sirius."

Sirius shook his head, "you weren't alone Reggie."

"You weren't there," Regulus eyes were ablaze. The weight of all the betrayals he'd suffered shining from his depths.