A Bridge Over Troubled Waters

Prolog 2: Refining My Thesis

Monday, 1/18/2021

[Edited Thursday, 12/14/2023]

The First issue that I intend to devote at least one entire chapter to is one of the most divisive issues in all of Christendom: the nature of "The Godhead."

This dramatically goes toward the question of why I intend to stick with a church that I can no longer — in good faith — fully attend!

That said, I have before attended two churches simultaneously.  At one time, I even attended three churches at once.  Curiously, my different churches have not always been of the same denomination.

Now, I am certainly not the first Christian to not tie themselves to any one, specific denomination.  Being a particular type of Christian is not the goal here.

Whether you — or any other human being — considers me to be a "Christian" is utterly unimportant.

Whether or not my God considers me to be His child is of Eternal Importance!

For if my name is -not- written in the Lamb's Book Of Life, then I have an extremely serious problem!

STOP

You got me on this point:

If I am choosing to stick with a church that I cannot fully attend, then is that not LITERALLY tying myself to ONE denomination?

Actually . . . no.

I hope that this answer will make more sense to you by the end of this book.

You got me on a second point as well:

Whether or not it is -obvious- that I am both aligned and aliened with Jesus Christ -is- a critical issue!

(Following Jesus Christ's Will, and being "politically allegiant" to His Kingdom, are not always easy to differentiate.  One could say, "There is no difference."

(Be cautious when interpreting what I mean by "political."  I am not referring 100% to human politics, but to God's politics.  The Body Of Christ here on Earth deserves prayerful leadership, organization, and decision making.

(I do NOT remotely believe that Christians should avoid the human political arena!  In fact, I believe the exact opposite!  Putting that belief into practice?  Now, there's an issue worthy of debate!

****

[Author's aside:

[My "voting and political" record has been abysmal for years.  I need to evaluate the quantity, and quality, of my aspirations.  It seems wise to periodically study one's own hypocrisies.]

•  For instance:

[Do I actually want to do any public service — or am I in love with the idea of being a public servant?  True: I do some public service.  Also true: do I want to do...  More?

[If I declare "yes," then what must I begin to do differently?]

{Answer: put more effort into building my networks: family, social, literary, and scientific.}

****

(Methinks it all requires Dedication, Love, Service, and Obedience in -both- thought and action.)

That said, the term "Christian" is a label.  Tragically, not all "Christians" consider some other "Christians" to be "Christians!"  "Christians" have been known to persecute — or even murder — other "Christians"...

For the simple crime of being the wrong type of "Christians."

Many vile, historical acts have been committed in The Name Of "GOD."

*  I do not excuse myself from this injunction.  I know (from personal experience) that when one stares into The Abyss . . . then The Abyss does much worse than stare back!  In some times past, I have kept the company of Darkness.

But I am still standing.  And I know Who my Master is.  And -that- makes me accountable for all that I do, say and speak.  Likewise, for what I -avoid- doing, saying, and thinking.  Every word I write, or fail to write, is as a firebrand to my heart.

By this measure, how can I say of myself that I am a "good man?"  I am as a man who is wretched, blind, and naked in my own sight.  My sin lies before me as a dinner of ashes.

[Author's aside: I was likely depressed when I wrote this.  Even so, this reads years later as some serious conviction.]

Yet my God LOVES me.  I can barely comprehend a fraction of such undeserving adoration!

(Obviously, loving myself can be difficult.  It requires seeing myself as my God see me.  That is wonderful, awesome, and often confusing.  Of this I say of myself:

(At the Marriage Supper Of The Lamb, I would be honored to serve anonymously as one of the waiters.  Hence, if I have my heart's desire, then You will not even know that I am there — [or at least not know my identity] — even as I bring You food, drink, and the elements of Your Communion.)

{I'm unworthy to sit at my Master's Table ... and I'm feeling no hint of depression right now.  Besides, helping with The Master's Feast sounds like great fun, whether anyone recognizes me or not!  12/14/2023}

Now, here is what baffles me the most:

If I finish the race that God has set forth for me, then on my Day Of Judgement . . . Jesus Christ will look at me tenderly.

And then say, "Child?  What sin?"

***

Therefore, there are "Christians" who could think that I am a "heretic," an "apostate," or even both at once!  And most certainly a sinner as well!  (For, in sooth, I sin far too frequently.)

#  So let me be crystalline in my clarity: They are correct.  By their definitions.  I aspire to be more concerned with God's opinion of me.

#  If I had been born during the Inquisition, then I probably would have been burned at the stake years younger — if not decades younger.  For numerous reasons, no less.

This is nothing to brag about, especially since I personally must beware of false humility.  I can be an unconventional thinker.  And not only because of my "autism," although that is a considerable factor.

***

My first point is as follows:

Be not concerned for my mood at this juncture.  I've had a good weeping.  It was cathartic.  I really do feel much better.  I've learned that the idea that strong men should not cry is a cultural straitjacket.  Methinks that men must be emotionally honest.  That is not a weakness, but is instead an ordained fountain of strength, health, and vitality.

Although I, at times, esteem myself as quite low, I really have an increasingly healthy self-image.  I am myself, and my God Is That He is -- Is That He Was -- and Is That Which He Will Become.

That comparison can be overwhelmingly magnificent (and humbling) to even attempt to comprehend in the slightest.  I am honored to have been overwhelmed — if only for a brief span in that which is eternity.

*

My second point is that strange people are not always well tolerated.  Additionally, I have had my own problems with dealing with other strange people.

(: {Which — of course — includes Joe.  Joe Mama.  And . . . Joe Rest Of Joe Family.} :)

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😛