When a body reflects upon their youth, one might emotionally exaggerate the good and the bad. Doing the opposite is also possible: emotionally downplaying the good and the bad — or even denying them altogether. Then there are landmarks and touchstones.
The problem that old men face is that landmarks change. Additionally, grasping some touchstones is more futile than grasping oil with your nose. (Unless you're an elephant.) Lastly, and this is a horrendous, but familiar, pun:
• "Denile" isn't just a river in Egypt.
****
(And denying one's ability to love and to be loved is more pernicious than a plague of locusts.)
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WARNING: The following would depress a pregnant goose. Avian discretion is advised.
Methinks that the schoolhouse where I went to kindergarten is gone. The public schoolhouse where I went to most of grade school is now a private school. The schoolhouse where I went to most of sixth grade may no longer exist. I'd have to go check.
I probably would barely recognize my old, high school campus. Could be wrong. I don't know if there will ever be any more high school reunions for my high school, graduating class, thanks to Covid. Also there have been, I think, 2 or more high school reunions for that entire high school. (And, as I recall, on years when my graduating class would [normally] have its solo class reunion.)
• In that crowd, good luck actually finding anybody who you actually graduated with. It happens, I suppose. Good luck with it, nonetheless.
**
One of my greatest sore spots when I was in school as a lad was getting the inevitable crushes. O! How I dreaded falling into puppy love! And anything stronger than that... Ouch.
I got pretty good at self-sabotaging my romantic feelings. Regretfully, methinks that I'm still doing it decades later. Most of the time, I don't think about it. But when I do...
But when I do...
• There are happy bachelors, and then there are sad bachelors. Me? I can be a mixture of both. I'm not exactly complaining. I've made a proper mess of the few romances I've had. Self-sabotage plus inexperience is a recipe for disaster [especially in affairs of the heart].
Believe it or not, I've had 3 different women tell me that I'd make a good husband. I may have mentioned this earlier in this book.
~•~
Thing is, on most days, I don't think about it. When I do, I either think that I'd be a terrible husband, or I imagine that me getting married will probably never happen.
• My fondest dream? My worst nightmare? Or the greatest lie that I've ever admitted to?
• Is, "I only laugh when it hurts," the corollary to, "It only hurts when I laugh?"
[Edited 23 December 2023.]
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A Bridge Over Troubled Waters
SpiritualDear Reader: You are precious, priceless, and irreplaceable. In the entire history -- of the entire universe: In the history of all Eternity... There has been, and ever will be, only one you. Herein are opinions, observations, and things autobiograp...
