Unsettled/Disillusioned

Chapter 8: the Ghost

Kallus hardly saw Cal for the rest of the day. He heard Cal and BD rummaging in the Ghost's kitchen later that evening and when Hera and Sabine served another dish Kallus hadn't seen before, "great great Grandma Pyloon's Casserole," he figured that was where the man had disappeared to. Cal didn't join them for dinner but disappeared with BD-1 into Kanan's room with a serving of his own. When Ezra asked about the shiner Kallus was sporting, Zeb gave him a look that said he'd deal with whoever hurt him personally. But Kanan made a gesture to drop the subject and assigned them both dish duty when they were done.

Kallus was about to leave the Ghost for Chopper Base proper when Kanan pulled him aside in the cargo hold.

"What happened this morning?" Kanan asked, painted jaig eyes peering into Kallus.

Kallus cut to the chase, "the Batch were badgering him about joining the Rebellion. Cal punched Wrecker. Then Crosshair ... Then me."

"Are you okay?" Kanan asked.

"Nothing a bacta spray can't fix," Kallus shrugged. Kanan nodded.

"Cal already went and apologised to Hunter and the Batch," Kanan explained, "he'll come around to you soon."

"I try to understand him, I think he just wants to go home," Kallus said.

"I told Commander Sato. Everyday that passes, he feels less like a guest and more like a hostage," Kanan sighed, "we need to let him go."

"He explained to me more than once why he doesn't want to join," Kallus started, "I don't think the Batch understood it. It didn't help that he was less open about things towards them than when he told me, either."

Kanan's head tilted curiously, "how much did he tell you?"

"He met BD-1 following Master Cordova's path, that's where his passion for archaeology started, I think. But with the Haxion Brood, and the Guild and the Empire bearing down on him... and the Partisans weren't helping either," Kallus tried to fit all the pieces he'd gathered of Cal over the last few days together, "he got burnt out, didn't he?"

"And he was burned. Someone betrayed him, I think, that was the last straw" Kanan whispered.

"He told you?" Kallus gasped. This was new.

"Not really."

"You read his mind?"

"When we were kids he was a sweet, honest boy. He wears his heart on his sleeve, or his hip really. That didn't change for the most part but," Kanan crossed his arms and frowned, "you could trust him. He listened to you. And... he trusted easily, too. But he's not quite the same anymore. Parts of him are completely blocked off, even I can't sense them. He's hiding a lot of pain and anger, I know that much."

"Fighting the Empire for almost as long as Gerrera has? Is that really a surprise?" Kallus said.

"But a Jedi shouldn't be carrying that around all the time, it's... dangerous," Kanan sighed and scratched his beard. "Anyway, I spoke with him. He could room here with me if you don't want to share with him anymore."

"It was one physical altercation, it's fine, hardly bruised my ego," Kallus assured Kanan, "he's still welcome in my quarters."

"Alright then, goodnight, Kallus," Kanan offered a small smile before he retreated back into the Ghost.