Stay

101

"Shhh sweetie its alright." Dr Morey said as the elevator closed. Dr Morey and Lana helped me into the ward. "This is the women's ward. Right now it's 9:00 so everyone has settled down for the evening." Dr Morey said. Dr Morey and Lana walked me to a room. There was a hard plastic rectangle box that was bolted to the floor with a single size mattress on top of it with a pillow and thin blankets. There was a plastic chair bolted to the floor and a hard plastic table next to it that was also bolted to the floor.

There was a small window with a layer of thick glass that had what looked like chicken wire in it and a Layer of clear hard plastic in front of it bolted to the frame. there was a ledge to sit and look out the window. There was a small room in the corner. Lana opened it and It was a sink a toilet and a shower head on the wall. The whole floor was the shower basically. The shower curtain was stuck on the wall with a strip of velcro.

"This is your room while your here." Dr Morey said. I nodded and went and sat criss cross on the bed. "Have you eaten yet." Dr Morey asked me. I shook my head no. "No I'm not hungry." I said softly my voice rough and thick.

"Okay If you need anything Lana Is here overnight tonight and I will be back in the morning." Dr Morey said. I just nodded. "We will let you rest." Lana said then they left the room. I sat there looking around the room as I started to cry. I pulled back the blanket and got into bed. I laid there and cried for awhile before I fell asleep.

I woke up multiple times before deciding to stay up around 2am. I went and sat by the window watching the cars in the parking lot. I had a view of the hospital entrance from my room. It was so weird less than 2 weeks ago I was coming into this hospital in labor and now I was here for this. I started to cry and hugged my knees to my chest.

Usually around this time I would be up feeding Everest or cuddled up to Colby. My body ached for Colby's warmth. There was a soft knock on my door before Lana peeked her head in. She frowned when she saw me crying. She slowly walked over and sat in the chair that was next to the window seat I was in.

"Can't sleep." She said. I shook my head no taking in a shaky breath. "The first night is always rough." Lana said. I nodded "Can you tell me what your feeling right now." She said softly. "I feel broken and lonely. I miss my baby and my fiancé. But I also feel like there life without me would be alot calmer and less stress not having to deal with me being broken." I said through tears.

"Sweet heart your not broken your just dealing with really big emotions. Your body is also getting used to less sleep and is still healing from birth. That's alot for anyone." Lana said. I nodded. "Is there anything I can do to help you sleep." Lana said. "I guess I'm just not used to sleeping alone." I said.

Lana held her hand out to me. I took it and she helped me down. "I will stay with you till you fall asleep ." she said walking me to the bed. "No I don't want to be a inconvenience." I said getting into the bed. Lana pulled the covers up covering me. "Your not it's my job." She said and smiled. I nodded and she sat on the bed by my feet.

Lana started to softly hum lulling me quickly to sleep. I woke up the next morning to someone gently shaking my shoulder. I groaned and rolled over facing the wall. That's when I heard a familiar chuckle. It took me a second to realize it was Colby. I shot up in bed causing pain in my abdomen but I didn't care I wrapped my arms around his neck hugging him tightly.

He wrapped his around my back and waist. "Morning love." He said softly I didn't want to let go until I heard a fuss. I pulled away and realized Everest was next to the bed in his carseat. I smiled. Colby lifted the carseat onto the bed and got him unbuckled then handed him to me.

"Hey lovebug." I said and kissed his cheek. "What time is it." I asked. "It's 9:30." Colby said. "When was the last time he ate." I said. "He ate at 7 so he should probably eat." Colby said. I smiled. I lifted up my shirt and got him to start eating. Colby grabbed the blanket from the carseat and covered me with it.