Almos

Truth

Forty-Three:

Dream World

In a rush, I pushed the huge door of the church where Ilmatar living and seeing her looking at me as if she's expecting that I'll come to her aid, annoys me even more.

"What are you doing to me Ilmatar?!" I burst out in anger as I asked her, yet her behavior doesn't change, she stayed calm and collected.

"I'm done nothing."

"Then, what is the meaning of this..." I can't explain it, the thing that happened between me and Jeanne, was something I know I'm familiar with and only a God or a Goddess could answer all my questions.

"Don't let your feelings affect you too much, Angel Almos. Remember, you are an Angel of Dreams and it is your duty to protect all those spirits that questing inside their dreams. And Jeanne is just one of them."

As expected from a Goddess, she will not tell the truth even though there's already a spill that slowly crawling back to its rightful place. A loophole that needs to be filled to finally found the answer he was seeking for a long time ago.

"Are all Gods or Goddesses were created to tell only lies? Aren't you created by the holiness of Almighty God so, why are trying to put some dirt on it?" I lose all my temper, I can clearly taste the bitterness that I felt when the only Goddess that I trust, tried to lie right through my face.

Ilmatar's reaction doesn't change a bit instead she genuinely smiles at me. "I never speak a lie to you, Almos. Nor pretend or used you at any cause it just that, there are things that you wouldn't want to reveal."

"Is that how you manipulate me?" my anger, frustration and confusion through everything that was going on with me stuck up deeply into my soul and it's hard to deflect these feelings any longer.

"No! Of course not! Why are you speaking like that?"

"It's all because of 'her' and I cannot longer just ignore it! When she's still Lady Fe, there's something about her that I couldn't just ignore. The urge of protecting her even neglecting all my duties as an Angel of Dreams, was too strong and yet just because of your words I lost her. It made my world crumble into deep and it became harder for me to get back on my feet. And now, when she's reincarnated once more, I try my very best not to get too close to her. However, destiny find its way and I can no longer just sit back and watch her suffer as the darkness continues to follow her. And the further I stay with her and known her; the picture of this unknown memories begins to showed up. Who is she to me? What's so important about her that I can no longer tolerate not to acknowledge. So, tell me the truth! You're a Goddess and I'm sure you know all the answers to these dilemmas I'm experiencing. So please clear my mind."

I finished my statement with plead even though my anger, frustrations and confusions are still present, I kept it to myself so tight cause there is no one that can help me to find out the truth. The blur images, which keep popping out of my head start to bother me, and as Jeanne gets closer and closer to me the images begin to bloom that hardly to escape. It's like a movie that begins to play and tell a story derives from the past that I don't have any recollection.

However, I can truly sense the familiarity of the events that was gradually showing right in front of me. A knowledge that breaks my heart as the process continues to show up yet the understanding of it is so unclear which is why I wanted to clear everything in my mind. By doing so, I need all the help that I could get from a God or Goddess because they are the only ones that can help me.

Ilmatar's expression finally changes and this time, her image shows worries, fear, hesitation and doubt. As if she's debating to herself if she will tell me the truth or not, although my desperation to know the truth is too strong, disregarding everything that she worries, fear, hesitate and doubt is the first thing I'll do.

"Tell me!" I said when she didn't speak. "Who am I?"

*** ***

Past

"Elbrus!"

Ilmatar's loud voice echoed through my ears that awake my unconscious mind and slowly I lift up my head only to find her looking through a distance safe from the punishment I'm in right at this moment.

'What are you doing here?' I asked through telepathy.

'Please, beg for mercy.'

'I will not.'

'No, Elbrus! You need to listen to me it's not worth it if you'll die just because of one Spirit. That--'

"Shut up!" I shouted out loud. "I won't listen to any of your words to say! Because if every one of you tells me loving her is a sin, then for me it isn't! I will fight for our love and if this punishment is the answer for me to prove the love that I have, then, I'll be gladly to accept this just to be with her eternally."

I said it loud and clear as I look up above the clouds as I wait for another strike to hit my whole being. I know how painful it is once the lightning strikes me again still, I don't care, I'll stand still and accept it until our father finally forgive me.

I'll endure all these sufferings just to be with her, no matter how many times the lightning strikes me I'll keep on fighting even if it will lose my immortality. I'll accept it wholeheartedly.

'You're a madman, Elbrus!' I heard Ilmatar said before another strike of lightning hits me and once again I didn't scream even though my whole being screaming in pain.

*** ***

Jr.