Fairy Tail: Journeyman

Chapter 11: It Doesn't Make Sense

"So...you're a..." My lips slowly formed around the words, desperate to understand why they were coming out of my mouth in the first place.

"Celestial Spirt. Your Celestial Spirit to be exact." Loke gestured softly to me before folding his hands neatly in front of him. As the sun peaked in the window I thought I could almost make out beads of sweat glistening across his forehead.

A small ache formed at my temple, and I let my fingers lightly try to massage it away.

"So...then how'd you get here?"

Doubt still pervaded my every thought. What was to say this strange visitor wasn't just some crazy perverted stalker? But...

I rubbed my temple harder as I remembered the involuntary tears. As if my heart knew something that even I didn't know.

Loke chuckled nervously. "Let's walk before we run there gorgeous."

My eyebrow twitched. "Okay first off, stop being all creepy!" I threatened him meaninglessly with my fist before I relaxed back down in my chair once more. "Secondly, what is that even supposed to mean?"

Loke adjusted his sunglasses slightly. It was idiotic at best that he was still wearing them, but he made no moves to remove them.

"There are certain things that we can't get to right now, because you aren't ready to handle it."

I stood up abruptly, placing my hands harshly on the wood of the table. "I think I can be in charge of what I can and cannot handle thank you very much! It's not like a little information will kill me!"

Loke's eyes hardened. "Yes. It will."

My body became rigid with shock. "...huh? What do you mean?"

He sighed, the cold seriousness of his eyes preventing me from looking away. "You've been having headaches, right? Maybe ones so bad you've passed out?" I fell back into my chair, afraid of the rest of his sentence. "All of this. Everything. It's putting a strain on your brain. If I tell you too much too fast..."

He didn't finish his sentence. He didn't need to.

"So... no asking about what the 'this' is?"

He shook his head. "Not unless you want your brain to snap like a rubber band."

Nervousness made my voice squeakier. "Yea... no thanks."

It was just my luck to be this close to answers but be stopped short of the goal.

"Then what can you tell me? You seem to have a much better understanding of what's going on."

He brought a hand to his chin as he contemplated the question.

"Well..." He took a deep breath. "You need to keep open mind."

I popped an eyebrow, irritated and frustrated at the lack of information. "Huh?"

"For now, let's just say because of who you are, you are currently at war with yourself." He shifted in his chair, and I saw his mouth twitch slightly before he collected himself. "Think about it like..." he hummed as he fished for a comparison. "When you have two magnets, if they are oriented properly they stick together right?"

I nodded already exasperated with his explanation.

"Well, what happens if you take one of those magnets and turn it around? They'll repel each other."

I groaned.

"Something happened that took a part of you, one side of your magnet if you will, and turned it around. Therefore, your body is rebelling against itself." He cleared his throat, letting one hand drop down to touch his stomach lightly. He seemed uncomfortable. "If you keep an open mind, stop fighting everything that is happening, there's a small chance you'll be..."

He had piqued my interest. "Whole again."

The words were sweet on my tongue. For as long as I could remember, I had always felt partially empty. Maybe that's why I had become so dependent on writing. Imagining worlds where I wouldn't be so incomplete. But in the end even that seemed to fall through, my writing ending up just as empty as myself.

There was a slight grunt and a bump of the table as Loke clutched his gut. My eyes darted to him, worry marking me. I couldn't help but notice that his jaw was clenched, and his brow furrowed.

"Are... are you okay?"

I leaned in closer, my heart beating faster as I watched him struggle with whatever pain he was feeling.

"I-I'm fine." He winced as he tried to reassure me, but I knew better. He was trying to be strong. Too strong.

He doubled over with another loud groan.

"No, you're obviously not!" I ran around the table, my instinct to put a hand to his forehead to gauge a temperature. As my hand reached his head I let out a gasp, watching as I phased right through him.

"...what?"

His whole outline started to shift, if only slightly, as I noticed small luminescent beads start to surround him.

"What...what's going on?" My voice was etched with the urgency I felt. Urgency from watching him double over in pain. Urgency from wondering why he was sparkling. Urgency from questioning... if he was ever even here at all.

A sharp pain coursed its way through my temple. I tried to blink it away.

My heart skipped a beat as a loud knock resounded at the door. I stole a glance at the white entrance before staring back at the disappearing man.

"Lucy..." He groaned out the words through gritted teeth. "I...can't hold on... much longer..."

I started to panic. This all felt so familiar. I...didn't want him to disappear. I wouldn't let him.

"No... stop. Don't just give up! I won't let you!"

A small smile formed at the edge of his lips before he winced once again.

"It's okay...I'll be fine I promise just..." his brow crinkled and his eyes clenched shut. Slowly he opened them again, the sparkling beads even more prominent now then before and his outline far shakier. "You need to look... for the gate."

The knock pounded at the door once more, and I thought I could almost hear Levy's voice on the other side of it.

"Lulu? Are you there?"

I couldn't pay attention to her right now.

"...Hey just hang on okay?" My eyes stung as I watched him slowly fade. There was nothing I could do. Nothing I could...

He smiled. "Look...for the journeyman gate..."

As his last words hung on the air any tangible form of his outline evaporated, and I was left alone in a kitchen with bright beads fading in the sunlight.

I stumbled to the door, letting muscle memory guide me. I could only vaguely make out the yellow ribbon and bright blue hair through my blurry eyes.

"Lulu, what happened!" Levy rushed to me, grabbing me as I crumpled to the ground. Warm wetness washed its way down my cheeks, my heart throbbing. Her words were distant as she rubbed my arm trying to soothe me. It was as if the world was a mile away from where I was.

It didn't make sense right? To ache this much over someone you had just met. Someone who was a complete stranger and truthfully might not have ever been real.

It didn't make sense...right?