DOUBLE TROUBLE

2. A smore full of love

ELLIE WAS MET WITH stars. So many stars, too many to count. And the bright moon that made her face and eyes glow naturally. She had a beer in her hand, sitting on the roof of Avery Anderson's house. Her forest brown eyes stared at the moon in awe.

Avery was next to her, taking a sip of her beer she had in her hand. Her blue eyes looking at the dark sky that brought her comfort. The slight wind steaming on their faces as they smiled, the only sound being the crickets.

After Mark died Ellie avoided her friends for the whole school year, skipping school, spending every minute of her life doing the same shit, feeling the same depression, feeling like the days are going on without her, it made her sick.

One day, Ellie realized, thanks to Topper, that the more she avoids them, the less time she gets with them. Ellie wished the realized that before but at the same time she wanted to avoid everyone due to the hole in her heart.

Avery turned to Ellie, "Hey El?" Her voice asked, it being a bit raspy from not speaking.

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever get scared?" She asked, her cheeks turning red as she quickly looked at the moon when Ellie turned to look at her.

"Sometimes" Ellie said, before sighing. "Sometimes, I fear if one of you will die before I never get to say goodbye and.....I'll forget what you look like and all the memories I've made with you all and thinking of that....makes my chest hurt"

Ellie didn't mind talking about how she felt with Avery. Avery always knew how to make Ellie feel good, normal, like she wasn't the only one feeling this pain and that it was normal to feel this pain. And deep down Ellie knew she couldn't hide from Avery, Avery always knew.

Avery turned to Ellie. "I get scared sometimes too. Like.....with Rafe. I wonder if he'll leave me for another girl cause they don't nag him about drugs."

Ellie furrowed her eyebrows. "How? Your beautiful! Your wonderful and funny! You used to know that! You used to be so confident! What happened?"

Avery looked down, trying not to cry. She was supposed to be the older sister, even if Ellie and her weren't blood, Avery felt responsible over Ellie. "Rafe kinda ruined that. He...wasn't always like that though. He used to be kind but ever since cocaine got in the mix he's been different"

Ellie bit her lip, she wasn't a master at boyfriends because she's never had one before or her first kiss. She liked living in her fantasy. Hearing Avery and Sarah's relationships made her glad she's never had a boyfriend. Boys are complicated.

"Do you wish you never dated Rafe?" Ellie asked as Avery eyed her before chuckling.

"No....I mean...without Rafe...I'd have no one. Rafe used to make me feel like no matter what happens we'll be the world. I'll be his world. But now....I'm starting to think cocaines his world." Avery spoke, her voice quiet that Ellie could barely hear.

"Well, every relationship is great at the start. But...do you ever regret being with Rafe?" Ellie asked, whispering slighty as she watched Avery sip her beer.

Avery made eye contact with Ellie for a moment. "Rafe's my world. And....cocaines Rafe's. Knowing that, really makes me hate myself. But, nobody else wants me. They either want me to show off or to be a sex toy so if I'm being honest. No. I don't regret being with Rafe because no matter who or what's his world...he'll always be my world"

"I think you deserve better. I think...Rafe's not mentally well to be in a relationship. All he's doing is bringing you down with him. It makes me sad. Knowing how much he's changed you. I mean, there's eight billion people in the world, one of those has to be your man, right?" Ellie asked the blonde as she turned her head to eye the stars.