Begin Again // Calum Hood

Chapter 22.

"Yeah, I'm leaving my parents' house today and coming straight to you. I promise." Michael's voice echoed through phone into my ear.

"Good. I miss your face." I smiled as I spoke.

"I'll see you later babes. I love you."

I paused for a moment. "I love you too." I almost whispered. I hung up the call. I have to admit, it feels weird to say I love him.

I heard some footsteps pad behind me.

"Hey." Calum whispered directly into my ear.

"Hi." I said, emotionless.

"Do you think you would want to..."

"Not now, sorry." I smiled a bit and turned to face him.

"Oh, okay. That's cool. Were you talking to Michael?" He came around the end of the couch and sat next to me.

"Yeah I was."

"Are you okay? You seem like something's wrong." He looked into my eyes.

"I'm fine." I knew he wouldn't let me leave now.

"Amber, you can talk to me."

I waited a second, and then started talking. "I told Michael I love him and you were right. I don't think I love him. It doesn't feel right. The emotions aren't there. I really don't know if any are there at all." I looked at his facial expression to see if it could somehow hint to his response. His jaw tensed up and he looked down.

"Well, I think you need to talk to him about that." I could see him swallow and keep his steady eye contact with the floor.

"I can't hurt him like that. Because then I would have to explain him our, 'situation'."

"Why would you have to do that?" He finally looked up.

"Because, it's the reason why I don't feel the same about him anymore." I put on a half smile. He was silent.

"I don't know what you..." He trailed off. I ignored him and continued.

"How should I tell him?"

"Uh, just say it frankly. You don't love him. Be straight, he'll somehow appreciate it." He lightly nodded. There was a short silence. I didn't have anything more to say and evidently he didn't either.

"Thanks Cal." I leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek. He smiled, despite looking defeated. I walked into my room to get changed for Michael to come and to give myself some thinking time.

My cloud of thinking was disturbed by three quick knocks on the door. I raced to answer it and to see Michael on the other side with his hands behind his back and a cheesy smile on his lips. I lightly tugged on his shirt to bring him in and then shut the door behind him. I lightly kissed him.

"Hi." He said, lowly.

"Hi." I returned. He inched back in and kissed me again with slightly more force. I grabbed his hand and pulled it to my bedroom. "Don't get any ideas, Clifford." I smiled and tried to prepare myself for what I was about to tell him.

"Nothing without your permission, baby." He shrugged and sat down on my bed. I sat next to him and put my hands on my knees. My eyes met his and I couldn't help but put on a tiny smile as my stomach started churning. He brought his lips towards mine, but I placed my hand on his shoulder before we could make contact. "Is something wrong?" He innocently questioned.

"Well, yes actually." I took a deep breath. "I need to tell you something." His eyebrows slightly furrowed, but he nodded for me to continue. I couldn't get the words to come out. "Michael, I don't think I have feelings for you anymore. I told you I loved you but I think it was just an in the moment type of thing, and I am so sorry." I felt a huge wave of relief roll over me.

"You're serious? You tell me you love me, give me no hints towards this whatsoever, act like nothing is wrong, and now you say you don't like me anymore?" There was strong annoyance in his tone. I couldn't form any words in response. "Wow. Just, wow." He shook his head. "Where the hell did this come from? Did I do something? Or not do something?" His words sounded sad but his tone was still slightly aggressive.

"That's something else I needed to tell you." I didn't take time between this announcement, I went right into it. "I have been seeing Calum. I'm sorry."

"I fucking knew it!" He yelled. "I never liked that prick!" He stood up. "I'm not surprised at all!" He opened my door and left the room. "He's here, isn't he?" He turned back towards my room and then walked into Calum's open door. Luckily, Calum was awake and well-aware of what was happening. "So you've been fucking Amber this whole time, huh? Fucking prick!" Calum stepped forward.

"It's not been like that, Michael. Calm down." His tone was cool and voice was deep and almost intimidating.

"Calm down? Really? I loved this girl, who never loved me, mind you, and you tell me to calm down? Fuck you. Fuck you Calum. This is so shitty. I can't say I expected anything less from either of you, though." He looked back at me standing in the middle of the living room.

"Woah, what do you mean by that?" Calum furrowed his eyebrows.

"You know what I meant." He shook his head. "I can't deal with this. This is so below shitty, you know that?" He took steps towards me. "I thought you loved me, Amber. I really did. I loved you so fucking much, and this is how I am repaid. I can't do this." He interlocked his hands behind his head. He looked done, but he looked right into my eyes and started talking again." Don't talk to me anymore. Fuck you Amber." He gave me the most disgusted look and left the apartment. I took a moment to process what had just happened and then a few silent tears started to fall. I brought my hand to my mouth and slightly sniffled. Calum looked at me and started to come towards me.

"Amber." He approached me with open arms.

"Not now, Calum." I choked out. I turned into my room and shut the door. Right after the door closed, that's when the waterworks really started.