Begin Again // Calum Hood

Chapter 15.

My eyes gently fluttered open as I laid in Michael's warm, drowsy embrace in my cramped bed. His 'To The Moon' tattoo laid exposed on his bicep. He lowly grumbled in his sleep. I gently traced my finger through every delicate letter. He cracked open his eyes and sighed. He looked at me for a moment, then buried his head in the pillow. I lowly chuckled.

"Miiiiichael. I know you're awake now." I smiled.

"No, I'm asleep." He mumbled into the pillow, his morning voice very evident. You could almost hear the smile playing on his lips.

"Oh, you are?" I dramatically sighed. "I guess we can't reenact last night." I trailed off and bit my lip trying not to smile. He quickly snapped his head up.

"What?" He quickly kissed me. "I'm pretty awake."

"I'm teasing you. You got lucky last night. That wasn't planned, but here we are." I was half-lying, I did plan on having sex with Michael, but not necessarily last night. I shuffled out of bed and slipped on sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Michael followed and put on his previous clothes.

"How did Alexa get home last night? I feel like a bad friend for kinda forgetting about her." I stepped in front of the door. I cracked it open and Calum sat on the couch, in only athletic shorts, with Alexa by his side, under his arm. I crept behind them and poked her shoulder. She turned her head. I nodded my head towards the bathroom. She got the hint and followed me in. I leaned against the counter as she shut the door. Alexa turned around and leaned like me. I raised my eyebrows at her. She knew exactly what I meant.

"No." She laughed. "But you would never know, it was pretty obvious you and Michael we're pretty busy yourselves." She wiggled her eyebrows. I hid my face in my hands.

"Was it really that obvious?" I whined.

"It's fine, it's fine." She rubbed my shoulder.

"Do you think you and Calum might have a thing?" I quickly changed the subject.

"Eh, maybe." She shrugged. "But, more importantly, how was it?" She nudged me.

"Oh my god Alexa." I rubbed my eyes. "It was fine. It was fine okay?"

"Only fine, huh?"

"Oh shut up." I pushed her arm.

"I'm gonna head home actually. I have to work later." She grabbed me in a hug. Oddly enough, she smelled like Calum.

"Is Michael taking you?"

"Yeah, he's my only way, remember?" I nodded and trailed out behind her. I pulled Michael in a huge hug.

"Bye, cutie." He whispered and walked out with Alexa. I stood frozen with Calum still on the couch. He quietly sighed.

"How did things go with Alexa?" I joined him. He lifted his hand and shakily moved it up and down.

"She didn't really seem interested in me." He shrugged while his view was still focused in on the tv.

"What do you mean? I think she really likes you."

"I mean there's no doubt she likes me, but she doesn't like me when I talk. Which we certainly didn't do much of." He deviously grinned.

"And what do you mean by that?" I turned my whole body to face him. He looked up at me.

"Do you need me to spell it out for you?" He squinted.

"But, Alexa had no reason to lie to me. She told me you didn't?" I knit my eyebrows together.

"Well, she lied. You guys were distracted, we were bored, so we found entertainment with each other." I felt my stomach knot up. Alexa had no reason to lie to me about them, but she did. I didn't care about what she and Calum had done, that was their choice. I just don't feel a source of trust anymore. I shook my head.

"I don't know what to believe." I sighed and leaned forward to sit on the front edge of the couch.

"Trust me." He sat forward with me. "It's okay. Just a small lie." He rubbed the top of my back.

"Yeah, it's small, but what else has she lied about?" To be honest, I'm not sure why it's affecting me so much, but it really is. I turned and Calum's deep brown eyes met with mine. It's always been nice to have him around to talk about absolutely I need. He's such an amazing friend. We stared into each other's eyes, neither of us breaking the moment. I put on a sincere smile.

"You have a pretty smile, okay? Don't worry about it." He patted my leg. "You're so pretty." He whispered. I knew what was happening as it happened. There was nothing I could do about it. I closed my eyes and he pressed his lips against mine. I leaned back against the arm of the couch as we were still attached. He rested his weight in his hands next to my body. My eyes flew open as I realized exactly what happened. I pushed him off and sat straight up.

"What the hell Calum?" I screamed. He looked around the room with an open mouth, as if the answer was sitting on the table. He brought his hands to his hair.

"I fucked up didn't I?" He looked at me almost like he was going to cry. I wanted to slap him but he was giving me a look like an innocent kid.

"Yeah, you did." I snapped.

"Uh, I'm so sorry. I'll leave you alone. I won't talk to you." He quickly stood up and ran to his room. I followed behind him. He was sat at the end of his bed with his elbows on his knees and head in his hands.

"Why? Why do you keep doing this?" I crossed my arms. He can't get away with this.

"I honestly don't know, okay?" He had a choke in his throat. He was as confused about what he did as I was. "I'm sorry." His voice slight broke. "I mess everything up. I just want to be friends but something just went off inside and I needed to and-" He sniffled. I couldn't tell if he was actually crying. I felt too horrible so I had to walk to him.

"Calum, are you crying? It's okay, I won't tell Michael." I put my head on his shoulder. He took his hands from his face and folded them in front of him.

"I always do this. You'll hate me. This isn't the last time I'll do this. It's like a different guy just takes over and goes crazy. I can't control it. It's like some irrational natural instinct. I've ruined a few relationships and I don't want to mess up you and Michael's." He looked at me with red-edged eyes and slightly puffy pink cheeks. "Or our's." He weakly smiled.

"Calum, it's done. You're fine, we're fine." I whispered and grabbed him into a warm embrace. I felt his warm tears soak into my shirt but I didn't mind in the least. I rubbed his back as he admitted to me all the relationships he's split.

AW POOR BABY CALUM

sorry this took so long but im updating as soon as i can :-)