Begin Again // Calum Hood

Chapter 23.

Calum's POV

It took everything inside of me not to beat Michael's ass. He hurt Amber and I'm not a fan of that. I know she isn't innocent here, but fuck it, I feel some desire to defend her. She shut me out of her room, but I feel so useless if I'm not holding her and comforting her. She says she doesn't want anyone right now but I can't just sit here and let her hurt. I paced in a small circle trying to decide how I should approach this. I gently knocked on her door.

"Amber, I know you don't want me in there right now, but just know that as soon as you're ready I'm gonna give you a hug." There was a short silence.

"Can I have the hug now?" She choked out, trying to laugh through her tears. I couldn't open the door fast enough. She was standing against a wall next to her bed with her hand covering her mouth. I approached her and completely encompassed her in my arms. She sniffled a few times and I squeezed a little harder with each one. We backed out of the hug and she started to rub part of my shoulder. "I got your shirt a little wet."

"I don't care." I whispered. The little spot was pretty evident on my light grey shirt. She started to shake her head lightly.

"I know what I did was beyond wrong, but fuck." A few tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I was about an inch away from beating his ass." I shrugged.

"Well I'm glad you didn't." She weakly smiled.

"I still feel like I should have. You're hurting and it would have made something inside of me feel better."

"You don't have to defend my honor, Calum. I'm not a movie character."

"I know, I know. It would have just given me some sense of peace."

"No, it's fine. He doesn't deserve it. I know that I would react the same way if it happened to me. So would you." She looked in my eyes, and continued. "My emotions are all fucked right now, so can I have another hug and then some alone time?"

"Of course." I muttered and gave her another hug. I rubbed her back and she rested her head on my chest. "I'm right outside your door of you want to talk about anything. You know that."

"Yeah, I do. Thanks Calum." I smiled and then walked out the door.

Amber's POV

This hurts. This all hurts so bad. I knew this would happen, yet I didn't do anything about it and I'm so upset with myself. Michael didn't deserve this. He was nothing but caring and thoughtful and yet I fucked him over. I want to call him and say that I truly am sorry about what I did, but he'll never have it. This all feels so shitty and I am the only one to blame.

I'm so conflicted. I can't decide if I want to be alone for the rest of the night or if I want to stay with Calum. Either one doesn't feel right. My feelings and emotions are so thrown off I just want some sort of solidarity.

I go to lay in my bed and it hits me. My bed smells faintly like Michael. The tears start again and I don't think they'll stop for a while. My instinct for a split second tells me to contact Michael, he'll make me happier. That hurts even more. I hate knowing that Michael is somewhere hurting too. Hurting more than me, most likely. I just want to comfort him even though I'm sure he's the last person he wants to see. I still care for him so deeply, and I don't think that will ever go away. He was my first love and nothing can strip him of that title. I just wish my mind would forget. I quickly decide that spending the night with someone would make me feel better so I wander into Calum's room where he's sitting on the edge of his bed, on his phone.

"Calum?" He looks up, wide-eyed. "I changed my mind and I do want to spend the night with someone. I just don't want to be alone right now." He gently nods and scoots over. I go and sit next to him, laying my head on his shoulder as I do so. "As weird as it sounds, I already miss him. My first reaction when I started crying was to call him so he could cheer me up."

"I know this is going to be hard, but you will get through it." He rubbed my leg.

"He was my first love and that won't ever go away. That's not something I can get through. That's not an emotional phase. It's just a fact of life and I can't forget it." I sighed. I wish he knew what I was going through.

"Love is a shitty thing." He whispered.

"I thought you've never been in love?"

"I'm starting to get some insight."

CALUM IS STARTING TO BECOME SUCH A CUTE CHARACTER

this is unedited so excuse any typos. i just wanted to get the update published real quick