Keeping Claire

Chapter Ten

Hello all:) Hope you like this chapter as well! I'm trying to upload more often because I realized that so far the book is boring. Sorry bout that... Anyhoo, comment and vote you beautiful people! Hope everyone has an INCREDIBLE weekend! Thanks for reading and sticking with it! You are the best! Love you guys! (Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes!)

Stay Sane and Beautiful<3

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Cody’s POV-

                “Make yourself at home.” She said. Then she smiled that adorable little half-smile and shut the door.

                Now was my chance to snoop. I knew it was wrong, but she only told me the bad part of her past. I guess the bad part is all she thinks about and remembers. But I was going to make her forget and move on, even if it meant not being with me. She deserves happiness.

                I quietly left her room and walked down the hallway to the living room. I didn’t see any pictures anywhere. Then I walked into the kitchen. No pictures. However, I was still curious to see what she DID eat. I walked over to the fridge and opened it. Inside was a half-gallon of milk, cheese, a few cans of soft drinks, and numerous bottles of water. The pantry didn’t have much either. It contained popcorn, bread, Pop-tarts, and Teddy Grahams. She was lying when she said that she ate enough. This wasn’t healthy. Working at a gym and being a personal trainer helped me know when someone was starving themselves and not eating right. She obviously only ate once a day, maybe twice. While I was in the kitchen, I grabbed a Pop-tart and then sat down in the living room and turned the TV on. I was going to confront her about this.

Claire’s POV-

                I think when I take a shower. It allows me to be completely solitary with no interruptions.

                I got in and turned the water as hot as I could stand it. While washing my face, I thought about Cody. He was so happy and carefree. When he smiles, it lights up a room. He needs someone better than me. I’m only going to weigh him down. He needs someone that is as happy as he is. I have too many hang-ups, too much baggage. He says that he doesn’t care, but I can see it in his eyes. It hurts him about as much as it hurts me. I don’t want to hurt him.

                What if one day, we are really serious and then we break up because I get all weird and he just can’t take it? I thought as I washed the rest of my body. I wouldn’t be able to handle living if that happened.

                There are some things in my life that just can’t be changed, my depression being one of them. But the thing is, I WANT to be with him. For the first time in my life, I have someone that actually cares for me, I think. How am I supposed to be with him if my heart won’t allow it?

                I struggled with this thought as I rinsed my hair out. I’m sick…mentally sick. I can’t handle the thought of someone leading me on then just dropping me like a piece of crap.

                I got out of the shower feeling confused and sad. After putting some clothes on, I stared at myself in the mirror. Well, it was now or never right? I stuffed my dirty clothes in the basket inside my closet, then went to the living room to find Cody.

                He was sitting on the couch with his back turned to me. He was just so perfect. That’s the only way to describe him. But I couldn’t think about that now, or ever again for that matter. I was going to hurt him. He deserved someone special, and that kind of special didn’t live in the shell of a girl that used to be happy.