The Pain in My Heart [Completed]

Chapter 5

"What happened to you?"

And evil smile appears on his face. The face I found comfort in. The face I looked at and saw my equal. Now I see the devil staring back at me.

"All in good time you will figure it out. Feeling stupid, you will beg to be apart of my plan." Leaning close to my ear, he whispers, "And then it will be too late."

***

"What happened to you?" I ask, breaking the silence. I blink away the memory of that dance. I try to forget the tight grasp he had on my hand and the overpowering reek of alcohol on his breath. It flashes before my eyes... all of it.

A shiver runs down my spine. Startled, it takes me a minute to realize it's just Axil. He stands behind me in the Study with his hand on my shoulder. We had brought him out of the prison to talk in the interest of giving him a little bit of undeserved dignity.

I wait for a response but none comes. The air is heavy. So many unspoken words. I wish I couldn't see how people were feeling, but like the lights of an ambulance it holds my attention and doesn't let it go.

"You're angry." I say, taking in the dark colors of black and red. "That's okay. You can be as angry as you want with me."

He slumps in the chair, his eyes far away from this world, lifeless. I used to love his eyes. They brought me so much joy to see because, in him I could always see his hope. Oh, how wrong I had been. About all of it. I was a fool to think he had the iciness of my father. He turned into something I couldn't understand, until I did... all too late.

"Queen Eden—

His lip quivers. Just for a half second, but it was all I needed to see he's listening. "Queen Eden has been sending threats to Lumbridge. Drawings. Four black crows." I crouch down in front of him. "Now I could be mistaken, but..." I squint, "that sounds oddly familiar."

It shouldn't, but my heart aches. Seeing him this close I can make out tiny scratches all along his cheeks and jaw. His puffy eyes are a color I have only ever seen in the night sky.

This man ruined everything for us. My second chance at daughterhood, Lucy's love, Axil's kingdom, Crista's joy, and yet I see that pinch between his eyebrows; and it twists my heart into a knot. I see his 12-year-old self lost and alone.

I shove it down. The pain, the regret, the urge to comfort him like he always did for me, but things have changed and just like he had a role to play, I have one as well.

I grab the back of his chair, caging him in. "You may think that you're some prince but here you have no power. None," I whisper shaking my head.

"Funny. You always thought crows were the coolest." I circle him now, slowly stepping as I recall our history. "You liked them so much you wanted to get a tattoo of wings on your back. Now that is such a coincidence, isn't it?"

The veins in his hand pop out. His grip becomes tighter. John was always skilled at masking. A charming fake smile, an eyebrow flash, a calm collected domineer.

"It's pathetic to see you sulk like that, I mean really? Even imprisoned, even through a magical wall specifically made to keep wielders of dark magic contained you still manage to ruin something beautiful," I bite nodding to Lucy.

I bury down the riving pain in my stomach. Just a few more minutes.

My hands tingle; the feeling of a thousand pin-pricks. Smoke quickly billows from my palms until a tiny flame emerges. I'm conscious enough to know it's there, but let it happen anyway. And for the first time since that night, I allow the memories to flood back in. All of them. Every snide remark, every heart-breaking whisper. I welcome it back.