The Pain in My Heart [Completed]

Chapter Fourteen - Zaria

I left him a note, and that is all. I didn't know what else to do. I know he'll despise me for it. He told me not to get involved and technically I'm disobeying, but what else am I supposed to do when Lucy, the Princess of Lumbridge told me to pack my bags and follow her? I have no choice but to go.

Axil has to be out of his mind if he thinks I'm letting him burden himself with this. It's all too much for one person. We all need each other.

"I'm guessing you want to know what happened?" I ask Lucy. We rounded up Stella and have been making our way west ever since.

"You could say that."

I take a deep breath. "While I was in the tunnel I saw a light, I didn't know which direction to go so I followed it. It led to the kitchen and that's where I heard that one of the workers was... dabbling in potions."

"Potions?"

"Poison," I correct myself.

"That's what I thought."

"You expected this? Did you have a vision?"

"I didn't know how accurate it would be. I just saw my mom asking her royal guard for an antidote."

My hands tighten on the reins. "Why didn't you say anything?"

She sighs and I feel her breath behind me. "It's complicated. I can see the future, but there's only so much I can do to change fate. I saw her."

"You saw Willow?"

Her silence is confirmation enough.

"And even though you knew what she did to your mother, waiting was the only way to be able to save her."

Another wave of silence. "I hate it," she hisses.

I turn my head over my shoulder. "I think you were given this gift for a reason. Not everyone is level-headed enough to make the kind of decisions you have to make." She doesn't say anything. "I can only imagine how frightening it would be to realize someone was trying to poison your mother."

"Yes, you can."

Now I'm the one that silent.

"You don't talk about her."

Ever since that night, I've been trying to remember what life was like without my mother. It's strange how just a few days can change your perception and how just a moment can change your life forever.

"I can't," I answer honestly.

"Why not? Everyone needs time to mourn. It's only natural."

"You don't talk about him," I say, and I regret it the moment it comes out of my mouth.

"I had to keep him a secret the whole time I knew him. I guess you could say I'm used to keeping things to myself."

"I'm so sorry," and I can't say it without my voice wavering. "You must hate me. You have to. I didn't keep him safe."

She pulls the reins to stop Stella for me. "Where would you get the idea that I hate you?"

I can't answer her. I can't even look at her.

She sighs. "I think about him every time I open my eyes, every time I eat, every time I visit the sparring room, every time I pass his station in the hallway, every time I close my eyes at night." She pauses. "After a while, I stopped thinking about how sad I was, how it wasn't fair to either of us, how different things could be right now if we had made different decisions... and I started thinking about how brave he was. I don't know anyone else that would have done what he did that night. He saved my brother because he knew that even if he died, the crown would live on. Isn't that what every knight hopes for when he dies? That he did everything he could to protect what he swore to keep safe?"