The Pain in My Heart [Completed]

Chapter Fifteen - Crista

Well, that conversation sure went south. I trudge back to my room because I don't know where else to go. Finding new hobbies has been a bit of a bust. Nothing really sparks my interest as much as magic did. It's just not the same anymore.

There are only so many books my mother can shove down my throat before I get entirely bored out of my mind, and it doesn't help that they're all history books on magic. I'm happy for her. I'm happy that she's back and using her magic again, but it's just a reminder of everything I've lost.

I guess I could ask what Zaria is doing today, but I always feel like I'm a third wheel to whatever anyone else is doing. They have things to do, responsibilities, and I'm just kind of stuck here.

I sigh and wander back into the hallway, stopping in front of the main door. I think back to if Zaria said anything of what she was doing today, but nothing comes to mind. The front doors are opened before me and a cold gust of wind puffs my face. There is an instant chill that overtakes my body.

"Are you coming?" one of the guards asks after a while.

"Umm..." I ponder. "You know what, I just forgot that I actually have somewhere else to be." I step back and let him close the door. "Silly me." He straightens and I can see my bringing the cold air in was not appreciated. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

"You might as well," he says, slightly tilting his head in my direction.

"Have you by any chance seen Zaria this morning?" His face contorts and he looks at me almost confused, as if he's trying to figure out whether I should know something or not. "What?" I ask defensively.

"Why would I have seen her this morning?" he says.

"Look, okay. It was just a question. No need to get in a tizzy."

"My apologies," he says quickly. "I ask because she left late last night."

My insides go cold as the words come out of his mouth. "She left?"

"I saw her mount her horse and leave maybe three hours after dark."

"Di-did she say where she was going?"

His face hardens. "No."

Now it's not a question of what I'm going to do today. I know exactly what I'm going to do, but I have no idea where to start looking to find her. Yes, you do. I hear the voice in my head that always seems to be correct. You know where she's going.

"Thank you," I say before turning around and racing back to my bedroom. Zaria thinks she can just disappear into the night? She's mistaken.

"CRISTA!" I can hear Axil's angry stomps behind me. "Stop right where you are!" He marches right up to me, meeting my face with a lethal snarl. He holds out his hand with a tiny piece of paper in it.

"What is this!?"

I can feel my heart beat faster. It had always hurt me when Axil raised his voice at me, nonetheless this. I was used to other people being annoyed by my behavior, but Axil would always play along and match my annoyingness. Not now.

"Axil," I try. "I don't know... I." But what was I even supposed to say?

He picks up my hand and shoves the piece of paper inside. With shaky fingers, I uncrumple the paper and read.

Dear Axil,

I will be gone for a while. I don't know how long. Don't come looking for me.

Please, do all you can at the palace. If anything comes up with Crista, go to Mr. Griffin immediately.

Lucy is with me. We will come home soon. I promise.

With love,

Zaria

No. No, no, no. This can't be happening. Some small part of me had perhaps hoped that the guard was mistaken and it wasn't Zaria that snuck off into the night. Holding her note makes it all the more real that she's gone. She held this in her hand just a few hours ago and now she's nowhere to be found.

"Crista," he says dead calm. "Please tell me you didn't know about this." He pauses and I can see him fidget just a little. "Because if you did—"

"I didn't! I swear," I answer honestly.

"This is not the time to joke or lie, Crista."

"I'm not," I say, tears almost brimming my eyes. I let this happen. I had heard her in the night. That's what the whispering was. She and Lucy were just under my window and I wasn't even competent enough to look at what it was. "I only found out this morning."

There's no way I can tell him that I could have stopped it if I had just looked out my window.

Would you? Even if you saw them, even if you confronted them, would you have stopped them? Doubt creeps into my mind, tormenting me.

Zaria is a force of nature. Once her mind is set, there is nothing that can stop her from completing whatever she sets her mind to. And Lucy... She's the princess. I have no real authority to stop her, only friendly advice.

I hate to admit that my mind circles with the question, why didn't they tell me? I know I've been MIA but I didn't think they would both just leave without telling me.

Axil huffs. I dare to look him in the eye. His pupils are like tiny dots in the piercing blue of his iris.

"Do you at least know where they went?" he asks.

"I wish I could tell you," I say again, honestly. "I mean, I can guess. But you won't like it."

"I thought that's where this would be heading," he circles around with his hand on his forehead. "I thought we had all agreed that going to Eden would be a death sentence. Why would she go to her... especially with Lucy? Why would she bring Lucy?"

I hang my head. "I don't know," I say quietly.

"Crista," he looks me in the eye very seriously. "Cover for me."

It takes me a second, my mind drawing a blank until his words finally sink in. He starts walking away and I have to run to catch up with his long strides. "Um, what." He doesn't turn. "Axil?" Still nothing. "AXIL!"

"What?" he responds without any hiccup in his march.

"Don't 'what' me. Cover for you? What are you talking about?"

"Exactly what it sounds like. I'm going after them. You cover the fort."

I huff it a bit more until I'm just ahead of him and I slam into him. "Um. No." He fights around me, but I've been told I'm a bit pushy. Blocking every single advance he makes, his arms get tighter and his jaw clenches.

"CRISTA!"

"Zaria told you to stay here. Whatever she's doing, wherever she is, she told you that she needs you here."

"Well in case you need a refresher, Zaria is not the boss of me. They're both going to get their heads cut off. I'm going after them. Goodbye," he adds, picking me up and moving me to the side.

"Axil!" I try calling one last time, but it's no use. He rounds the bend, and I know I can't talk him out of this. Ugh, some people. Zaria and Axil are perfect for each other.

Well, now there's only one thing to do, and I'm glad he reminded me. Axil is not the boss of me either... not yet. So, there's only one logical option.

I sprint up to my room and throw open my closet. This is going to be fun.