The Pain in My Heart [Completed]

Chapter Forty-Seven ~Zaria

There is a cup that sits in the corner of his cell. I grab it and set it upright. Taking my blade out of its sheath I prick my finger and squeeze the wound until there is a sufficient amount of blood lining the bottom of the cup. John presses his lips tightly together as he watches me do this and I try to avoid eye contact, but I can still hear the subtle catch of his breath as he watches it drip into the cup.

"This," I tell him, "is for an emergency." I hand the cup to him and hold the slice on my finger shut. "If you use it, run and don't look back."

I stand up and reach for the wall.

"Before you go," he starts and gets up after me. He looks around the cell like he can find the what to say written on the wall. "Is there anything I can do to possibly make up for what I have done?" he says, defeated, knowing that there's nothing he can do.

But I give him an answer, regardless. "Yes." His eyes perk up and a little bit of color comes to his cheeks. "I don't know what's going to happen tonight," I tell him looking him in the eye. "If everything goes to plan, I will come back for you... if not... use it," I say gesturing to the cup, "and get out. I'll let everyone know what you have said. It's up to them to give you a second chance. If I don't come back for you, do everything you can to take the crew and run."

He slowly draws his eyes away from mine and looks inside the cup. He nods, still looking down.

I turn around and let the bloodied part of my finger touch the wall.

"Zaria," he says grabbing onto my shoulder. "I'll see you soon."

***

It pains me to leave him down there, especially after everything he spoke about. And if it is indeed all true, he doesn't deserve to be down there at all. I saw his aura. He wasn't mad or manipulative, he was just... depressed. Really, really depressed.

But it's the only way for me to make sure he is safe while I am gone. At least I can trust Tyrian to protect everyone upstairs... Lucy as well. Their senses are heightened more than any one of us. They'll be able to feel if something is different. And regardless of Tyrian's snarkiness, I trust him enough to be serious. I kind of have to.

All of a sudden, I hear clacks of heels in the hallway and a whip of blond hair run past the entrance. It stops and clops back a few paces. Lucy appears under the archway and runs towards me.

"Lucy," I say. "What's going on?"

"I – need – to – talk – to – you," she says through pants as she runs down the hallway. Her hair is static and the hem of her dress is dirtied from running all around.

"Privately?"

She swallows and takes a deep breath. "Yes."

I nod my head in the direction of my room. "Let's go."

We walk in silence all the way up to my room and I have to admit I've never felt so uncomfortable standing next to Lucy. Even when I was new here and I still thought her to be a maid, I never felt so tense.

I open the door and let her walk in. She immediately walks to the center of the room and turns around as I close the door behind us.

"I'm sorry," she says quickly. "I'm sorry for what I said. It... just still a touchy subject. And everyone around me is dying. And here I am half Fae and I'll live way longer than everyone else... and why do I get that privilege? Why am I the one that gets to survive? Oh, my goodness Zaria you've almost died like four times now and I just can't stand sitting back and not being able to do anything. And I'm not getting visions like I used to which makes me even more useless. And—"