The Pain in My Heart [Completed]

Chapter Thirty-Nine ~Crista

Axil sleeps for the better part of the morning, but I am quite comfortable with the much-needed silence. What have I gotten myself into?

My heart flutters in sadness at John's last words. I shouldn't be thinking anything of the sort, but I just can't keep my mind off of our small conversations.

What is it he really wants? What is he trying to rip out of me? And if I give him all the answers he needs before my family is set free, what then?

Axil's brow starts to twitch and I can tell it'll only be a matter of time before he wakes up and sees his arm. It will only be a matter of time before we go back to the way things were when fighting was our routine.

It looks different on someone else. I had never looked at Lucy's arm. Only in mere glimpses had I seen the inky black contrast to her pale skin. It's been a battle in my mind ever since. So, I've taken to memorizing the pattern on my own arm, getting familiar with its delicate swirls and manipulative beauty.

If I didn't know that this tattoo was slowly killing me, I would quite admire it. The shape of soft wings with mighty power. A symbol of freedom... but instead it's our slavery.

He squints and shifts, stretching his arms above his head. He opens his crystal blue eyes and looks up at the tree hanging over us offering shelter.

"Crista, how are you feeling?" he asks groggily rolling over.

I clear my throat and try not to sound so sore. "I'm alright," I say. I nod in his direction and I know by the look on his face that he knows there is a problem.

He quickly gets up and looks behind him, frazzled. "Who's there?"

"Not a who," I whisper. "Axil... your arm."

Facing away from me I can only see the tilt of his head as he notices the new marking. He's quiet. Painfully quiet.

"Axil, please say something," I plead gripping the grass beneath me. But he doesn't say anything at all. He just keeps staring off into the distance.

I've never seen him like this before. I've always seen him as a prince, exuding confidence and authority. I've started to see him as the new ruler, the one I will trust to keep the kingdom safe. And none of that has changed... but without the suit, without the fancy armor and rings... he's just a boy. Green grass stains his white shirt and his jeans are torn and ripped along the edges from trudging through bramble. His boots are covered in mud and sand.

He's just a boy who was given a crumbling world, just a boy who was handed responsibility at the worst possible time, a boy whose life has changed from this moment on.

"What do we do now, Crista?" he says and I almost don't hear it.

I can feel my heart ripping into pieces. What do we do? So, I tell him the only things I do know. The only good shred of hope we can think of.

"Zaria and Lucy are not with Eden," I tell him, and I hug my knees close to my chest. "I don't know where they are, but she hasn't come for them. Not yet."

His shoulders rise and fall. "I'm assuming John told you that," he mumbles under his breath.

"Yes," I whisper shaking my head. "I know you're angry. I am too. But he's the only way to get any answers. I have to do this. I have no other choice."

He turns back around slowly and the morning sun shines on his face making it almost glow. "Is that all he said?"

"No," I say thinking back to the moment I had been replaying in my mind over and over. I hesitate to tell him. What's the point? I might as well keep him as optimistic as possible.