The Pain in My Heart [Completed]

Chapter Thirty-Five ~Crista

The second my body plunges into the ice-cold water my mind turns off. All those sleepless nights, all the voices in my head, none of it matters anymore. I can't even hear my own voice. It's weird what the cold will do. Your body can't decide whether it wants to fight or just give in.

My lungs don't burn with air, they just feel light. Tiny bubbles float to the surface as little blips of air escape my lips. The silence is so peaceful and the cold pressure around me feels like a weighted blanket.

If I just close my eyes...

"No."

I jump as a distinct voice enters my brain and I know exactly who it is.

None of it makes any sense. Why try to save me? Is it only so he can keep me alive till he gets what he wants?

"Crista."

John's voice is gentle as it winds its way from one ear to the other. I look down at my hand, my palm still grasping the crystal. There's a jumpstart in my chest and I remember why I am down here in the first place. The crystal glows in my hands illuminating a path.

"Find him," John whispers and I can't help but remember all the times I had heard him say, come find me.

Following the light path, I dive downward. For a lake, its depths might as well be an ocean. My lungs start to seize now that I'm moving. Each flail, each kick makes my chest burn with a new type of pain I've never felt before.

"I'm too late," I think to myself. "I have to be. There's no way—"

"Don't think about that," John cuts in. "Keep going, you're almost there."

Never before did I think the reassurance of the man who tried to assassinate my family would help calm me, but there's a first time for everything. I narrow my eyebrows, squinting, trying to see any type of movement, any sign of Axil, any flicker of life.

But everything is still.

"Where is he?" I try to ask John... but there is no response. "John? Where is Axil?" I try again.

The few thoughts in my head start to become fuzzy. I feel scared, depressed, lonely, ashamed, embarrassed, terrified, but I have no energy to form any proper thoughts. My heart beats wildly in my chest and my lungs beg for a breath of fresh air, but the anxious thoughts start to go away.

"Crista."

I hear in the faint distance. It too is fuzzy, but maybe fuzzy isn't the right word to describe it. Like hearing out of cans.

There's swishing around me but I can't even focus on what it might be, and quite honestly, I don't really care at this point. I'm drowning. I know it.

Something soft brushes my fingertips and it feels like the softest bed. Am I at the bottom? It could be the silky sand...

And then I feel a tug. Like being woken up in the morning, something is dragging me out of my slumber. First my arm and then around my waist. If this is some ancient fish I never learned about in my studies, at least it's got a comforting hug before the kiss of death.

And then I can't hold it anymore. I fill my lungs... with... air? Sweet relief washes over me. I swear in the back of my mind I can hear a heartbeat that doesn't match my own. Much stronger and way faster, but it all slips away in a heartbeat.

***

"Wake up... Please wake up."

I can hear the voice. Hear but not understand. It takes a minute, but even though I don't know what it's saying, I know the tone.