Twisted

Chapter 20: A Girl Friend

Sophie had brought me to the bathroom, and helped me shave my legs, my hands kept shaking, she just took it out of my hands with a gentle smile. I could feel my face burn with embracement. She just continued to talk, it didn't seem to phase her at all. She somehow produced a bottle of nail polish, and insisted she paint my nails. She wouldn't take no for an answer. She was being really sweet and gentle. I think she was just as excited to talk to another girl. Even though I didn't say much. Once she was satisfied with everything we could in the bathroom, she lead me back to my room, and gave me clean clothes.

And then she sat me down in the chair beside the bed, wrapped a blanket around me and stood behind me, and gently brushed my hair. It had been so long since I actually took care of myself, I actually forgot what it was like to feel okay. But it felt like a fake exterior. My body was still covered in bruises, cuts, rope burns, ruined scared skin, and a haunted empty dark feeling. The panic was always simmering at the surface.

Sophie chatted the whole time, telling me all kinds of stories. She told me goofy ones of the three of them and a few adventure stories. Her hands paused for a moment.

"You know...the first week after he woke up, he struggled the most, he tried to uh... he tried something...Zayn stopped him. If it wasn't for him Gally wouldn't have been here."

I felt my body freezing up, my lungs tightened.

"Why?"

"Because he lost you. He said he was the one to pull that trigger...and he lost you, he didn't want to be in a place you weren't. He felt so incredibly guilty...like SO bad, it was scary. He's got a lot better, he's been working on himself, and he was in a good place. I mean...he never got over you. I don't think he would ever...I haven't seen him be this gentle before. Or smile this much. Like jeez, that boy loves you."

She paused, and ran the brush through my hair a few more times.

"I want to find a guy who's going to love me the way Gally loves you." She said quietly, almost longingly.

"I'm sure my... issues are gonna eventually scare him off. He'll get frustrated with me." I whisper, voicing a fear that had been scratching at the back of my head. Janson had messed with me so much, I don't think I would ever be back to what I used to be. Maybe if my memory was swiped again... But I'm sure if I keep freaking out like I have been he would eventually get tired of it and leave.

"Charlie! You can't possibly think that! After what I just told you? And how much he's changed in like a day, just because your back in his arms!"

"I don't know..." I whispered.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. Sophie finished with the braid and came around, and sat on the bed in front of me. Her usual bright smile was gone, replaced by a tight lipped frown. She ran a hand through her hair.

"Okay, look... I know he never got over you. 'Cause... " She paused and sighed. "Because I kissed him one time and he whispered your name. Not mine...yours. He freaked out and ran. Zayn found him, he was devastated. He thought you were dead, and yet he felt guilty. He sobbed, Charlie, he was so angry and upset with himself."

I lifted my head and watched her. Her face was open and honest, I knew she felt guilty, I could see it, it pained her. I was surprised by how little that confession made me feel. I just didn't feel the need to be angry, at either of them.

"It was after an incident in the Crank city. He saved me from a Crank, and he was so sweet, took care of me. Not the way he does with you, he was quiet and awkward, he didn't look at me the same way he looks at you. And I felt...I don't know, I took advantage of the situation. I'm sorry Charlie."