Heartless

{34}

It wouldn't hurt to stay just a little longer at the party, so that's what she did, greeting her old friend of course once the coast was clear and Taemin had left. She wasn't one for parties or big social events, so she passed out on the way home, most likely because that sauna kicked into her overstimulated body and all she wanted at the moment was sleep.

Or maybe it was because of the way he gently rubbed her thigh while driving. You'd think that would get her all worked up again, but surprisingly enough it didn't. It soothed her into a euphoric state, and she didn't know it since her eyes were closed, but he loved seeing how content she was when she rested.

He's watched her sleep before, not in a creepy way of course, but because he was overprotective and wanted to be by her side no matter what she was doing. At first, he was worried she'd stress out about seeing him, so it put his mind at ease when she remained calm throughout the whole night and enjoyed herself in the presence of her friend, the party host, Kim Seokjin.

It was little moments like that that he cherished. When he could just watch her, hear her speak, see her smile and laugh. My god her laugh was so addicting, he could listen to it all day because she rarely showed the outgoing side of her personality. But whenever she was like this, happy and in her element, he could do nothing and think of nothing else while he admired her from the sidelines.

Jungkook wasn't one to go out or participate in social events much like her. Simply because he hated people and always has since day one. He has to admit that he enjoyed tonight for one reason and one reason only. Her. The neon lights that lit the pools made her glow like an angel. It made it hard to pull away from looking at her.

He barely paid any attention to her conversation with Seokjin, he was too entranced by her voice and how she sounded, almost like a song. It was smooth and soft, but with just the right edge to it that kept him on his toes. Much like her appearance, she looked both sweet and sour. It was all in her eyes.

They were like a doe, dark and mysterious, but beautiful and kind at the same time. They'd be wide with wonder, or narrowed with aggression. She had such a duality about her that often made his brain short-circuit. She was perfect in every way. Sweet when necessary, and brutal in a flash.

Not to mention how perfect that bathing suit hugged her body. Since she was much smaller than him, naturally, he found her adorable sometimes. Key word sometimes. She packed a punch, she might've been little, but her personality was much larger than her appearance.

Which only meant one thing. What was on the outside only covered some of what was on the inside. Watching her from afar and tracing every part of her body without shame, since she was his after all, he didn't bother fighting the demons in his head that reminded him of what happened just about an hour ago in that car.

It was stuck in his head, replaying until his mouth started to salivate at the thought of seeing her so vulnerable and needy like that again. It was a side to her no one else knew, and the one that did was now dead, so it was safe to say he felt just a tad extra special to know that now that they truly belonged to each other, he had those privileges he's never in his life wanted before.

Sex or any type of affection was overhyped and mundane in his opinion, that's how his mindset always was. He never craved a woman, he never wanted a partnership, and he never desired love and true happiness. That was never in the cards he was dealt. But everything he's ever known, everything he's ever thought has blown up and been left in shambles all because of her.

When he forced himself, the very few times he did, to be intimate, he despised every second of it. He kissed those women to seduce them, to get them in bed and please them even when he wasn't pleased by it. All for the sake of his job and getting information. Now that he thinks back on those moments, he realizes how twisted that was.