I packed my bags after that. I felt so heartbroken, I flew back to London and as soon as I walked in my apartment I broke down.
I put my back against the door and let myself fall down on my knees.
Athena looked at me and didn't hesitate, she walked to me and sat down in front of me.
"What happened?" She asked softly.
"He made me feel like I was the one to the blame, while he was sleeping with another girl"
I know she was expecting this already but she just sighed and wrapped her arms around me.
"I don't think I'll ever get over it" I could feel my tears starting to fall down. "You can and you will" she said as she put her hands on my cheeks.
She could tell me this a thousand times more but I don't think I would ever believe her.
I was working with him, with Georgia. Mclaren was gonna expect me to make him win the championship. They were gonna expect me to smile and be happy when he won a race.
I don't think I was strong enough for that.
—————————
I didn't leave the apartment for the next few days. I cried and cried.
I had no more tears left by the time I had to go to Canada for the next race.
I was working on auto pilot. I worked on the strategy in the evening and did my part during the day. Both drivers were starting on the front row so it couldn't have gone any better.
I grabbed my laptop and started walking out of the paddock when someone grabbed my arm. It was Max, I've been avoiding him all weekend.
Not because I didn't like him, but because Lando probably told him everything.
He knew the truth that I was desperately trying to forget.
"Are you okay?"
I nodded with a fake smile.
His eyes narrowed as he looked at me. "You can be honest with me"
So Lando did tell him everything.
"I knew he was hurting me" I said with a sigh. "I knew he wasn't treating me right. I knew I deserved better.. but I stayed anyways"
"Then why did you stay?" He asked softly.
"Sometimes you love someone, you love them so much, that you let them hurt you. I wanted him to touch me, even if it made me bleed. I wanted those seconds of happiness even if it meant a night of tear stained pillows"
Max didn't say a word, he didn't interrupt me, his eyes even showed some kind of pity.
"In my gut, I knew it wasn't right, but I'd spend hours making excuses. I put myself second to put him first and I thought, hey.. maybe one day he will do the same for me"
But he wouldn't do the same for me. Maybe he didn't change, maybe he was just tired of me.
Maybe I wasn't good enough.
"You deserve someone who loves you and honestly River, I know his ego is blowing up lately, he thought he was the power in your couple" he grabbed my hand and looked at me.
"But he's not. Every team wants you. You're the best strategist in this paddock. Christian wanted to offer him a seat so he would take you with him"
So Christian wanted to use him, to get me?
"So take these and show them what you're made off"
He handed me a bag, winked and walked away. He grabbed Kelly's hand and pointed at the bag in my hand.
I was happy they got back together, they were such a cute couple.
I looked in the bag and chuckled. Black fingerless gloves with studs on them.
He was right, I was someone without Lando and I was gonna show that to everyone, including Lando.
